When Casuals Have A Right To Say No

[trish73]

Hi, I was working in the preschool room and another educator from another room walked through the preschool room and she accidentally stepped in paint, not sure where and made marks with each step, she stopped and wiped the paint off her shoes and than she told me to wipe the paint marks off the floor?
Did she have a right to tell me to wipe the mess that she made?
I understand that is my duty to help clean up after meals and general cleaning, but not sure to agree to clean up a mess made from another educator? When to say no?
And what would be any other things to say no which would be handy to know?

[Butterflyblue]

That's terrible! Was the educator nice (I'm guessing not) and did they have to be elsewhere?

I would've said I'm happy to help her and hand her a wipe to indicate I expect her to clean her own mess up and say something like you can use this to clean up. If she doesn't take the cleaning stuff place it somewhere or back and say its there when your ready or have a minute.
Don't think its reasonable to ask another educator to clean up my mess, unless there was some emergency or I would usually clean up after others so its fair. In any case everyone knows new(er) people don't always know how places and work and some people are nasty

Unfortunately, the worst part of ecec and childcare especially in centres is staff bullying and people being unprofessional towards each other, presumably since they aren't regulars, casuals tend to be treated very badly. If I had a dollar for each bad centre experience for every educator and teacher you know the rest!


First on the list is always the 'dirty' jobs or unreasonable ones like what you mentioned. At least have the decency to say can you please clean with me not for me if its that hard or important.


Top tips for survival as a casual
- Trust your gut instincts
Just listen to it

- Attitude
Be assertive and confident, remain calm and think before you do even if English is not your first language, you are new to the sector or feel nervous etc - just try
Greet everyone politely, make an effort to learn names and make general conversation. If you don't know something, ask whoever is in charge.

- Know what is needed
If possible ask beforehand for a list of duties so you'll know what you need to do. Obviously things change over a shift, but clarifying can help you avoid getting into trouble when permanent staff make unreasonable demands and try to take advantage

- Be flexible, compromise and get creative
Be the bigger person, pick your battles and try to think of things from a different perspective.
For example meet this educator in the middle and say happy to help, I'll clean up this side of the room, you do that side. Show people how you would like to be treated and treat others well.

- Read up on psychology and body language etc
Sounds silly but learn about it and develop a skill set that you can add to and fine tune over your career. Learning how to direct conversation and clearly show what it is you want is a good place to start.
For example tell the educator I'm doing this right now so I can't, what are you doing next, maybe I can take over for you so you can clean this up.
Sounds bold but is said nicely

Golden rules:

- If someone asks you to do anything you don't feel comfortable just say so 'no thanks, I don't feel comfortable doing that'

- If you see something bad, say something.
You have a duty of care, don't neglect it.


-Have standards and boundaries
Everyone deserves to be treated with decency and respect. If someone gives you the dirty jobs or makes your life unnecessarily difficult, speak up. Write down what happens at work, good and bad in a diary. You'll never know when you'll need it, plus its an excellent tool for reflection.


There's a damned if you do/ don't situation with telling on colleagues. If someone is bullying you have the right to go to management and HR as the law states everyone is entitled to feel safe at work. In recent times attitudes have shifted and legal issues await employers turning a blind eye.
But if they don't listen, don't be afraid to leave, just try not to burn bridges on the way out.
For example say another opportunity came up or you're taking a holiday.
If you work for an agency, tell them don't want to go back/ reject future offers and if you feel comfortable say that you had a bad experience because it's not worth it.

Bullies are everywhere, learn how to stand up for yourself and spread kindness instead

Hope that's of some help to the casuals out there 

[trish73]

Thanks so much for your reply and understanding. I will start a diary. Can I show my reflection diary to my director to read, or do I just keep it for myself? I thought, if the other educator asked can you help me clean up the shoe prints, than that would have been better.

[AnneR]

I often hesitate to say no because I'm afraid of offending another person ...
I also realized that I often don't say no because I want to appear friendly...
BUT it often ends badly. People just sit on my head...
It is very difficult at the very beginning of the practice of refusal to force yourself to say " no "
Automatically act as you are used to. And only then do you realize that something has gone wrong...

[Butterflyblue]

You can keep the diary for yourself if you prefer.
Its effectively an insurance policy for you where instead of relying on your memory if need be, you have a written record. Its something anyone with any job can keep but in our sector it doubles as a tool for reflections and professional development.


One option is to show pages you want to share for the purpose of reflection with a colleague or manager etc
The rest is for you to keep private, hope that makes sense

[barkerxavierr]

I often hesitate to say no because I'm afraid of offending another person ...
I also realized that I often don't say no because I want to appear friendly...
BUT it often ends badly. People just sit on my head...
It is very difficult at the very beginning of the practice of refusal to force yourself to say " no "
Automatically act as you are used to. And only then do you realize that something has gone wrong...fnfgo

yes, i am like you, i am often very shy to say no. i think it is because i do not know how to decline gracefully. i wish there was a course to teach me this!

[Quson]

Generally, it’s reasonable to expect everyone to take responsibility for their own mistakes, especially when it’s something like stepping in paint. You could have politely said something like, “I can help you with general clean-up after our scheduled tasks, but I think it’s best if you take care of this paint since it happened outside your work area.”

[bekeanloinse]

Honestly, I’d have been a bit taken aback too. Like… if it was me, I probably would’ve helped clean it up anyway just to keep things running smoothly (especially in a preschool where safety matters), but that doesn’t mean she had the right to tell you to do it. She made the mess, so the professional thing would’ve been for her to Geometry Dash either clean it herself or at least ask you nicely instead of just telling you.

[emmausa]

You could say, "I'm busy supervising the class so I can't help clean up, could you handle it for me?" Subway Surfers or inform the person in charge of cleaning.

[Sevarica]

To be honest, it’s more a question of respect and sharing responsibility than who has the right. She could have asked for help, but logically, it’s not entirely fair to clean up her own random mess.

In such a situation, I would calmly say something like: “I’m busy with my duties right now, let’s clean up together or notify the administration.” And in general, it’s best to refuse when the request goes beyond your work tasks or shifts someone else’s responsibility onto you.

[Sevarica]

It's normal for even strangers to say "no" - everyone has their own limits.
I used to take such rejections very personally, as if there was something wrong with me, and it really put pressure on me.
It was not easy to overcome this feeling, but over time I realized that it's not always about me.
Sometimes people just have their own reasons that we don't even know about.
Once I accepted this, it became much easier to react calmly and without unnecessary emotions.

[Lorina]

In situations like this, it’s important to balance teamwork with fairness. If another educator accidentally makes a mess, the respectful and professional expectation is that they take responsibility for cleaning it up. Asking you to do it shifts their responsibility onto you, which isn’t appropriate.

That said, in early childhood settings we often step in to clean quickly if children are present, simply because safety and hygiene come first. But that should be the exception, not the rule. If you find yourself being asked to clean up another adult’s mess regularly, it’s reasonable to set boundaries.

A polite way to respond could be:

- "I’ll keep going with my preschool room cleaning tasks—could you please take care of the paint since it came from your shoes?”*
- Or, if you want to show flexibility but still set limits: “I can help this time, but it’s important we each clean up our own spills.”

When to say no:
- If the task is unsafe (heavy lifting, hazardous materials).
- If it’s clearly outside your role (personal errands, unrelated chores).
- If it undermines fairness (consistently cleaning up after another adult).

Ultimately, teamwork doesn’t mean doing everything—it means supporting each other while respecting boundaries. Saying “no” politely is part of maintaining professional respect.

,
Lorina