Struggling to get children to listen

[emilyjflinn]

Hello everyone,

I am quite a quiet person, am young and i have a soft nature and love working in childcare, but i have been struggling to get children to listen to me and respect me (especially the older children 3-5 plus after school care children).
I speak to the children gently and try and get them to either come inside, sit down on the mat, pack away or do activities quietly but they hardly ever seem to listen especially the children with more challenging behaviours.
As i am a casual and not set in a designated room i find that i get to anxious and dread going into the oder kids rooms as i know that i won't be listened to and i feel guilty as i don't want to create more work for other educators and be the 'weak link' in the centre.

Children constantly push me, throw sand at me, yell at me or just straight up ignore me if i ask them to do something and it has started to make me feel uncomfortable.
I have talked with the centre manager about it but she doesn't really know what i can do besides 'ask them again'. I don't blame the children at all as i know they are capable of behaving for other educators and i must be sending out some vibe or they can sense that i am weaker.
If anyone has any advice or even suggestions for online courses or books as i want to be the best educator that i can and i just need a little help to find something that will work and eventually benefit the centre, children and myself.

Thank you in advance for the help.

[AJ.96]

Hey Emily
I can point you in the right direction.
I've been in the before and after school care setting for about 4 years now (not childcare setting but same in a way).
I'm young myself (23 in Feb) when i started i was in a simular situation to you.

Children at that age are active and want to run a muck...
and when they don't listen, it gets annoying.

The same way as they're annoying when they don't listen,
YOU be annoying and try to get a conversation going with them.
example:
if a child is playing in the sandpit with their friends, sit in the sandpit with them aswell, and start asking open ended questions.
"what would you like me to make?" - "That looks amazing show me how you did that"

As a casual you're allowed to be at a childs level and tell them that what they're doing is wrong.
don't ever feel you can't tell them off.

What else is happening at work?

[Lorina]

Since you are casual and you are not a consistent Educator within the room, children will test their limits with you. This also happens to new Educators. Children want to see how far they can push you, children are manipulative in their own way and some are not as innocent as you would think. . Even though, they should learn to respect everyone and they children shouldn't have control or power over you or you are going to end up resenting working in this industry.

When getting children to come inside or sit down on the mat, walk up to each child or group of children, bend down to their level, make eye contact with them and tell them that it's time to join you on the mat or it's time to come outside. As children come and sit on the mat, for example, say something like "thanks Lucy for joining me on the mat". Thank each child as they join you, then begin mat time.

Another idea for this is to play a song and when children hear the song they stop what they are doing and join you on the mat. It has to be one song that you will play each time. You will need to discuss this with the children beforehand so you are not just playing a song and they don't know what to do. Songs can also be used for tidying up etc.

In regards to children pushing you or throwing sand at you, that's not on and this behaviour should be dealt with. No child should ever hit you, yell at you, throw sand at you, no excuse! When this happens, it needs to be dealt with straight away. If a child yells at you, go to the child, get down to their level, make eye contact and say something like "When you talk to me, use your inside voice, your loud voice hurts my ears and I don't like it. Can you tell me again using your inside voice? Thank you much better". For children that are pushing you, "it hurts when you push me, use your words and tell me if you would like me to move out of your way".

You have to be consistent. Whenever a behaviour occurs you need to follow through and let the children know that you don't accept behaviour like that.

Try it and see how it goes!

,
Lorina

[Lorina]

Here are some more techniques you can try:

Behaviour Management In Childcare

,
Lorina