I find this child challenging

[LindyT]

I have a child that comes to care 1 day a week.
His speech is good.
he can relate well to others and can focus on activities.

BUT This child really has some rather odd behaviours.
I'm thinking OCD or something similar.

Child X
4 Years 8 Months old

What things about this child do I find challenging??

1) He asks questions he knows the answer to constantly
If I turn the fan on or mention fans
Child X: did you turn the fan on?
Me: What do you think Child X you saw me turn it on?
Child X: Did you turn the fan on?
Me: Yes Child X I turned the fan on.
Then he will start talking about fans and the fan in his room was broken. Etc. etc.
This will continue until I tell him to stop.

If I mention clocks or telling the time
Me: We will go outside at 10am
Child X: Is that you clock?
Me: Yes Child X it is my clock.
Child X: Is it your clock?
Me: Yes
Child X I have a clock and the discussion contuse in a circular fashion until I tell him to stop talking about clocks.

2) He obsesses over things
He will only eat green apples and rarely any other fruit. As I put the fruit out
Child X: Is that Child X’s Green apple?
Me: Yes Child X
Child X: Child X only eats Green Apple doesn’t he?

3) He refers to himself in the 3rd Person “Child X only eats green apples doesn’t he?”

4) He has major textural issues towards certain food (Reported to me by his Mother” I find that Child X WILL try things if the expectation is there but will only try the tiniest of bites of new food.
Given the right motivation he WILL eat the foods he claims to not like.
In the past at home
Feeling sick
Playing up (Acting out)
Preferring to go to bed rather than eating the food he is purported not to like has all gotten him the outcome he wants.
Will only eat pasta with the vegetables hidden in it,
Have only just got him eating sandwiches.

5) Lately his play has gotten obsessional about Ghosts.

Would love some thoughts or suggestion on managing this child. He makes the day he is in care a lot of the time unbearable with these types of behaviours constantly.

[Lorina]

Child X: did you turn the fan on?
Me: What do you think Child X you saw me turn it on?

LOL!! Lindy that's the funniest thing I've read! The way you answered was hilarious... I can't stop laughing!

In all seriousness, it does sound like Child X may have something like OCD. When I read your conversations you posted it appears that he always talk about the same topic constantly and comes fascinated with objects around him. From what I know people with OCD constantly do the same routine, the same thing over and over again. For e.g. "getting up on the right side of the bed, putting left shoe on first, always using the same coloured toothbrush etc".

Have you spoken to Child X's mum about repetitive habits he has at home?

Lately his play has gotten obsessional about Ghosts

.
Maybe his parents are watching too much Ghost Hunters? Sometimes it could even be a phase... Keep your ears opened...

L.A

[LindyT]

Glad it gave you a good laugh lol
It would be really funny if I wasn't dealing with it each week.


I'm at my wits end honestly this goes on every day he is in care!!

Mum just thinks it quirky! It is waaaayyyy beyond quirky!!

His family are a lovely supportive family.

They are very mindful of the TV that is watched whilst the children are around.

[Dragonstorm]

Hi Lindy

I am a current student doing a Ba in early childhood in only my second SP of study so first off I will say I dont much at all. I do however have a 4 1/2 yr old boy and being a male myself I would like to pose a couple of things for discussion....

1. Boys love attention from females. (It doesnt really matter what age we are we still like to talk to chicks).
2. at the age hes at at the moment his view on the world is changing every day. learning and interacting with others.
3. perhaps he does have a developmental issue and finds that he is reasurred by your regular meetings ( even if it is once a week)
4. oneparents idea of supportive is different from anothers.
5. is he the same with other carers?
6. how does he interact with the other children?

these are just some discussion points i thought i would throw out there. As i am yet to experience this sort of behaviour yet, i am interested as to how you and others think the situation is best hancdled. My son constantly says WHY? is it the same with this child.
The brain of a child is a wonderous thing that needs to be grown and let free sometimes.

Regards
Andrew

[LindyT]

Hi Andrew,

I think we all know very little about a lot of things. Early Childhood is a constant steep learning curve.

1 Child X rarely seeks me out for attention directly unless he is in his obsessive cycle.
2. He only tends to interact with 1-2 others (A Boy his own age and his Sister who is 2). The play with the other boy usually escalates to aggressive play while with his Sister it usually ends with the Younger child Squalling as Child X loves to push her button. (Having said that she is now learning to push his buttons back)
3. This could be true.
4. I discovered last week Dad has learning difficulties very similar to Child X's challenges. These issue were left untreated
5. He also attends Montessori and the parents were called in by the Director last week for discussion about Child X's behaviour. The Director found his behaviours outside the acceptable limits but his teacher says he is a normal 'active' little boy.
I have been in child care over 8 years and a parent of a 15 year old Boy.
I know what the limits of normal behaviour are. (My Son has a mild learning difficulty)
6. He rarely interacts with children outside of the 2 children I mentioned earlier.

Child X doesn't say Why. Which would be normal from my perspective.

I agree the brain of a child is a wonderous thing that needs to be grown and let free sometimes. It's just that this brain tires me out and my Scheme has not yet to date been around to Assess this child, even though I have made many many requests over the last 12 months. I know they think I am able to handle him (I have had a lot of children with challenging behaviours but this child is different the others were just needing behaviour modification). I am frustrated as I am starting to not look forward to working with this child as I spend all my day managing him. The other 4 children miss out on my individual attention.

Sorry I am frustrated with the whole situation. I don't want to give up on him!!

I am only 1 person with no support
(Pity party over now)

[cathiek]

Hi LindyT
I can empathize with you. I too am dealing with a challenging child in my room and everyone says 'wow - you have got your hands full there' etc, but no-one will actually provide any help. As you say - everyone thinks you are doing a great job handling it - and whilst it certainly looks like you are, I know that sometimes it feels like we are taking no steps forward and two steps back
It is good though that we are able to vent a little on sites like this and know we are not alone - and maybe get some helpful feedback.
I hope it helps to know you are not on your own & I agree, we don't want to give up on them, they are beautiful little people - we just need some support.
(Caffeine is usually a good helper!!!) LOL

[LindyT]

Thanks cathiek,

There's a lot to be said for venting.
Being in FDC can at times be VERY isolating. No one to bounce off.

I just want the best possible outcome for this child.

I'm like a child with ADHD when I have caffeine so for me thats not an option. Cordial after work helps tho

[jrw60]

Hi Lindy

Can you ask your scheme to get in touch with the child's Montessori teacher for a chat about strategies so everyone is on the same page? Big hugs to you, sounds like there is a bit of denial going on too, which is very difficult when there is obviously a problem. Just remember, one person can only do so much in one day, keep asking for help from your scheme until you get it!! And you can vent to me any time - you are not alone!

[kessie]

Hi Lindy,

I can't really offer any contrustive help but this sounds like a child I had last year. Conversations were such as:

Tim: Can I have an iceclock
Me: Sorry, no we don't have any iceblocks.
Tim: can I have one then?
Me: No, we don't have any!
Tim: Can I have one please?
Me: Tim, what did I just say about the ice blocks?
Tim: You don't have any!
Me: Yes that's right!
Tim So can i have one then?

OMG. By the end of the day!!!We didn't get any answers as he was with us briefly but it seemed to be a processing problem. Something was not connecting there!

[LindyT]

Jrw I did try that to no avail.

Kessie I could actually hear that conversation going on in my head as I read it it is sooo familiar lol