What To Do When A Family Requests That Male Educators Not Change Their Child’s Nappy

When a family requests that male educators not change their child’s nappy, it touches on safeguarding, inclusion, and professional boundaries all at once. Here’s a way to navigate it thoughtfully.

Acknowledge the Concern

Start with empathy: Families may be reacting to recent news or personal trauma. Acknowledge their right to feel protective.
Reassure them: Share your service’s safeguarding protocols — two-person checks, CCTV, consent practices, and staff vetting.

Clarify Policy and Legal Obligations

Explain role expectations: Nappy changing is a core duty for all educators, regardless of gender. Excluding someone based on gender may breach anti-discrimination laws.
Offer transparency: Invite families to review your policies and observe routines if they wish.

Offer a Middle Ground

Opt-in waivers: Some services are trialing family-specific waivers for intimate care tasks. If you go this route, ensure it’s documented, reviewed regularly, and doesn’t create a two-tiered system.
Team-based care: Emphasize that all educators work collaboratively, and children are never left alone during intimate care routines.

Open the Dialogue

Invite a meeting: A respectful conversation can help unpack fears and build trust.
Share research: Male educators contribute uniquely to children’s development. Excluding them from care roles can reinforce harmful stereotypes.

Reflect as a Team

Use this as a PD opportunity: Reflect on how your service balances safety, inclusion, and dignity.
Empower male educators: Ensure they feel supported and not sidelined. Their voice matters in shaping inclusive practice.

Examples Response Letter To Families

Dear [Family Name],

Thank you for sharing your concerns around intimate care routines. We understand that entrusting your child to others is deeply personal, and we value the opportunity to work together in fostering a safe, respectful, and inclusive environment.

At [Service Name], nappy changing and other care routines are carried out in accordance with strict safeguarding protocols:

Two-person checks and supervision where feasible
Transparent routines and documentation
Educators who are trained, vetted, and committed to your child’s well-being

All educators — regardless of gender — play a vital role in nurturing children’s development. Excluding staff based on gender risks reinforcing stereotypes and undermines a culture of inclusion. We also have a legal and ethical responsibility to treat our educators fairly and uphold anti-discrimination standards.

If you feel your family’s circumstances warrant a tailored care arrangement, we’re happy to explore it with you via our Intimate Care Waiver. This document is intended to:

Record and respect family preferences
Clarify shared responsibilities
Ensure children’s routines remain consistent and dignified

Our goal is to maintain trust, transparency, and respect for both families and educators. We welcome the opportunity to discuss further and answer any questions you may have.

Warm regards,
[Your Name]
[Your Role]
[Service Name]

Sample Of Intimate Care Waiver

Here’s a sample Intimate Care Waiver you can adapt for your service. It’s designed to respect family preferences while maintaining transparency, dignity, and legal clarity:

Intimate Care Waiver – Family Preference Form

Child’s Name: __________________________
Date of Birth: __________________________
Room/Group: __________________________
Parent/Guardian Name(s): ______________________________________

Purpose of This Waiver

This form allows families to express preferences regarding which educators may assist their child with intimate care routines (e.g., nappy changing, toileting, dressing). While all educators are trained and vetted, we respect that some families may have specific cultural, personal, or trauma-informed considerations.

Family Request

☐ I request that male educators do not perform intimate care routines for my child.
☐ I request that female educators do not perform intimate care routines for my child.
☐ I request that only designated educators listed below perform intimate care routines:

Acknowledgements

By signing this waiver, I understand and agree that:

All educators at [Service Name] are qualified, vetted, and supervised.
This waiver does not guarantee that preferences can be met at all times (e.g., staff absences, emergencies).
My child’s dignity, safety, and well-being remain the highest priority.
This waiver will be reviewed every 3 months or upon request.

Parent/Guardian Signature

Signature: __________________________
Date: __________________________

Service Representative

Name: __________________________
Role: __________________________
Signature: __________________________
Date: __________________________

Companion Info Sheet for Families

Here's a companion info sheet designed to gently reassure families while showcasing your service's safeguards and inclusive team-based approach. It's clear, visual, and respectful of differing perspectives — especially useful if displayed near nappy change areas or included in enrolment packs.

Who provides intimate care?
All educators — regardless of gender — are qualified, vetted, and trained in best practice. Our team shares the responsibility of supporting children’s needs with sensitivity and respect.

How do we safeguard your child?
We follow structured routines that prioritise safety:

Two-person checks
Documentation and reporting
Supervision and visibility
Consent-based practice

Why are male educators included?
Children benefit from diverse role models. Male educators:

Build nurturing relationships
Role-model emotional expression
Challenge outdated stereotypes

What if I have specific preferences?
We honour cultural and personal needs. Families may request an Intimate Care Waiver, reviewed regularly and handled with care.

Our commitment
We strive for dignity, safety, and inclusion—for children, families, and educators alike. If you have questions or concerns, our team is here to listen.