What To Do When Educators Don’t “Like” the Feedback

Feedback in early childhood education must be delivered with care; effective strategies reduce defensiveness and build trust among educators.

Feedback is essential in early childhood education, but not all educators receive it positively. Sometimes feedback can trigger defensiveness, eye-rolling, or even outright dismissal. These reactions don’t mean feedback should be avoided — instead, leaders need strategies to deliver it in a way that reduces conflict and builds trust.

Why Educators Resist Feedback

Perceived criticism: Feedback feels personal rather than professional.
Surprise factor: Issues raised only at appraisal meetings can feel unfair.
Fear of consequences: Concerns about job security or reputation.
Lack of clarity: Vague feedback leaves educators unsure how to improve.

Conflict‑Sensitive Feedback Framework for ECE

This framework helps leaders provide feedback even when educators resist or disengage.

Step 1: Prepare with Evidence

Collect observations before the meeting.
Example: “On Monday, three children became unsettled during group time after 20 minutes.”

Step 2: Create a Safe Space

Choose the right setting — private, calm, and respectful.
Example: Avoid giving feedback in front of colleagues; schedule a one‑on‑one.

Step 3: Start with Positives

Balance strengths and growth using the 2:1 rule.
Example: “Your storytelling voice really engages children. They love your energy. One area we could strengthen is keeping them focused for longer.”

Step 4: Deliver Feedback with Care

Use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Example: “I noticed transitions after lunch were challenging. I’d like us to explore strategies together.”

Step 5: Manage Resistance

When educators become defensive, roll their eyes, or dismiss feedback:

Acknowledge feelings: “I can see this feels difficult to hear.”
Reframe as support: “This isn’t criticism — it’s about helping you succeed.”
Invite reflection: “How did you feel that transition went?”

Step 6: Collaborate on Solutions

Co‑create strategies with the educator.
Example: “Would you like to try a visual schedule for transitions, and we’ll review how it goes in two weeks?”

Step 7: Document and Follow Up

Record agreements in appraisal notes.
Encourage progress by recognising improvements at the next catch‑up.

Example Dialogue: Handling Defensiveness

When educators react negatively, whether by becoming defensive, rolling their eyes, or dismissing feedback — managers must lead by example. The way a leader responds sets the tone for the entire conversation.

Managers should not get angry, frustrated, or upset. Instead, they must remain calm and professional and continue the conversation with empathy and clarity. This models respectful communication and reinforces that feedback is about growth, not punishment.

Manager: “I noticed during outdoor play that some children struggled with turn‑taking.”
Educator (defensive, eye‑rolling): “I don’t think that’s true — they were fine.”
Manager (calm): “I understand it may have felt that way. I observed three children becoming upset while waiting. What strategies do you think could help them manage waiting better?”
Educator (reflecting): “Maybe I could add a timer so they know when their turn is coming.”
Manager (supportive): “That’s a great idea. Let’s try it and check back in during our next catch‑up.

Why This Framework Works

By shifting feedback from criticism to collaboration, educators are more likely to accept it, reflect on it, and act on it. This reduces conflict, strengthens professional relationships, and ultimately improves outcomes for children.