Q: What Do You Do When Your Director Plays Favourites With Staff?

Practical strategies for educators to manage favouritism, toxic childcare culture, heavy workloads, and burnout while protecting wellbeing.

Advice for educators facing favouritism, burnout, and toxic childcare workplace culture. Workplace culture plays a huge role in educator well-being. When directors or leaders show favouritism, giving opportunities, pay rises, or responsibilities only to close allies, it can leave other staff feeling excluded, undervalued, and overwhelmed.

This article offers practical steps for educators facing these challenges.

Under the National Quality Standard (NQS), particularly Quality Area 4: Staffing Arrangements, services are expected to ensure that educators are supported, workloads are fair, and professional collaboration is encouraged. The EYLF also emphasises wellbeing and respectful relationships as foundational to quality practice.

Practical Strategies

Document Workload and Hours

Keeping records helps you raise concerns professionally and factually.

Note dates/times of after‑hours emails and tasks
Record weekend paperwork completed
Keep examples of unfair blame or workload distribution.

Set Clear Boundaries

Boundaries safeguard your family time and mental health.

Say: "I will respond to non‑urgent emails during work hours only."
Avoid replying to late‑night or weekend emails unless urgent
Use polite auto‑responses to reinforce boundaries
Share boundaries with colleagues for collective consistency

Seek Peer Support

A united voice is stronger than individual complaints.

Discuss shared concerns with trusted colleagues
Agree on common issues to raise together
Support each other emotionally and practically

Communicate with Leadership

Address concerns directly with the director in a constructive way.

Say, "We'd like to discuss how workload and responsibilities can be shared more fairly to support the team and meet NQS expectations."
Request a formal meeting
Use "I/we" statements to avoid blame
Frame issues around team efficiency and compliance

Escalate if Needed

If concerns remain unresolved, seek external support.

Contact HR or higher management
Seek union advice if applicable
Refer to NQS Quality Area 4 when explaining concerns

What To Do When You Witness The Director Showing Favouritism

The key is to respond in ways that protect professionalism, maintain wellbeing, and gently highlight fairness without escalating conflict. Here are practical things staff can say or do:

Neutral acknowledgement: If the director praises only certain staff, respond with calm professionalism — “I’m glad the task was completed. Our whole team contributed.”
Redirect to teamwork: Emphasise collective effort in conversations: “It’s great when we all share responsibilities; it makes the day smoother.”
Clarify responsibilities: If tasks are unevenly assigned, politely ask: “Could you clarify my role in this project so I can contribute effectively?”
Raise workload impact: If paperwork or duties pile up, frame it around quality: “I want to ensure I meet compliance standards—could we look at balancing paperwork so I can focus on children’s learning outcomes too?”

You don’t need to confront favouritism aggressively. By using professional language, documenting concerns, and focusing on teamwork and compliance, you can protect your wellbeing while signalling that fairness benefits the whole service.

Prioritise Self‑Care

Protecting your wellbeing ensures you can continue to support children effectively.

Schedule rest and family time deliberately
Engage in hobbies or relaxation practices
Recognise burnout signs early and act

Helpful Guidance

Frame concerns around compliance: Linking issues to NQS and EYLF standards makes them harder to dismiss.
Collective advocacy: Raising issues as a group demonstrates that concerns are systemic, not personal.
Balance resilience with realism: While self‑care helps, systemic change may require formal escalation.
Consider long‑term options: If culture remains toxic, explore alternative workplaces where leadership values fairness and collaboration.

Educators deserve workplaces where effort is recognised, responsibilities are shared fairly, and wellbeing is respected. By documenting concerns, setting boundaries, and advocating collectively, you can protect your health and push for a more inclusive, professional culture.