Over the last couple of years in childcare all I feel like I am doing is 'behaviour managing'. I feel like that there are so many children all the time with really difficult behaviour and it makes it really hard to enjoy my job. When I decided on childcare as a career I of course expected that the children wouldn't display great behaviour all the time but what I have been experiencing lately has just been unbelievable. Having 7 or 8 children per day that are just out of control/won't listen no matter what technique is used. Parents who don't care or don't believe...I just don't know what to do. I dread going to work. And mostly I feel really sorry for the 'average child'. You know the ones who are by no means perfectly behaved all the time but it's just average age appropriate misbehaviour; nothing serious. I worry about them because I feel like they are not getting what they deserve. Myself and other staff have to be running back and forth from one thing to another because of all these other children with series behaviour problems. I feel like I can't care for the others as good as I should or that I am that rushed or impatient when I do because of what's happening non-stop through out the day. I feel like I can barely do anything throughout the day because I just don't have time and I feel so stressed out all the time. Every year I feel like the children get worse and worse. I'm not sure whether it's the way children are being brought up theses days or not.
I just know that I feel like all my job is these days is behaviour management.
That the parts of childcare I enjoy can't be enjoyed because of this.
Does anyone else feel like this?
I feel like all I am doing is 'behaviour managing'.
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RoseRed123
- Newbie
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Thu Jan 23, 2014 9:19 pm
Re: I feel like all I am doing is 'behaviour managing'.
First off, children are rascals! 
They drive you crazy (some more than others)..You need to put a stop to the behaviour because it can really create havoc and make your work life stressful (like you have been experiencing). At this stage, don't worry about the parents. You do what needs to be done in your room. However, the child behaves for their parents let it be but in your room guidelines need to be followed! Start off with some room guidelines which can be colour coded e.g. red - help each other pack away, blue - walking inside, pink - quiet voices while we are inside, yellow - share and take turns etc. Don't do so many that the children are going to have a hard time to try and remember them just stick to 5. Display these at child height and add a picture for each rule so the children can be reminded of them daily for a couple of weeks. Also, about implementing these guidelines talk to the group of children about them, about the right way to behave, what they shouldn't do etc. Next you may need to make some room changes. Are the children engaged in the activities? Have you set up different areas the children can explore throughout the day? Do you constantly change the activities so the children aren't bored? Are the activities challenging? There is always a reason for children to misbehave. They don't do it to annoy you, they do it because they may feel bored, not interested, feeling tired, etc. So, in this case during the day stand back and see watch the children. Take brief notes of what's happening in your room and from here try and make a plan to maybe change the set up of the room or even ask the children themselves something "what do you enjoy doing here"... Record these responses are try and implement them (within reason). Set a routine for the day and set aside time for different activities which you can focus on together as a group whether it is group games, doing science experiments, music and movements experiences, yoga and relaxation etc. Keeping the children busy gives them less time to feel bored. Letting the children play "freely" for the day can get a little boring that's why some children need structure which will also help with the behaviour. Another idea is just to have a group talk, be honest and let the children know how you feel "I'm feeling disappointed because I spend most of the time telling you all don't do this and don't do that rather then just play and learn with each and everyone of you. How can we change this..." Never mention or single out a child.
Obviously these charges are not going to happen overnight but it's a step in the right direction... It will take time and you have to be consistent!
I hope some of these ideas inspire you not to give up just yet!
,
Lorina
They drive you crazy (some more than others)..You need to put a stop to the behaviour because it can really create havoc and make your work life stressful (like you have been experiencing). At this stage, don't worry about the parents. You do what needs to be done in your room. However, the child behaves for their parents let it be but in your room guidelines need to be followed! Start off with some room guidelines which can be colour coded e.g. red - help each other pack away, blue - walking inside, pink - quiet voices while we are inside, yellow - share and take turns etc. Don't do so many that the children are going to have a hard time to try and remember them just stick to 5. Display these at child height and add a picture for each rule so the children can be reminded of them daily for a couple of weeks. Also, about implementing these guidelines talk to the group of children about them, about the right way to behave, what they shouldn't do etc. Next you may need to make some room changes. Are the children engaged in the activities? Have you set up different areas the children can explore throughout the day? Do you constantly change the activities so the children aren't bored? Are the activities challenging? There is always a reason for children to misbehave. They don't do it to annoy you, they do it because they may feel bored, not interested, feeling tired, etc. So, in this case during the day stand back and see watch the children. Take brief notes of what's happening in your room and from here try and make a plan to maybe change the set up of the room or even ask the children themselves something "what do you enjoy doing here"... Record these responses are try and implement them (within reason). Set a routine for the day and set aside time for different activities which you can focus on together as a group whether it is group games, doing science experiments, music and movements experiences, yoga and relaxation etc. Keeping the children busy gives them less time to feel bored. Letting the children play "freely" for the day can get a little boring that's why some children need structure which will also help with the behaviour. Another idea is just to have a group talk, be honest and let the children know how you feel "I'm feeling disappointed because I spend most of the time telling you all don't do this and don't do that rather then just play and learn with each and everyone of you. How can we change this..." Never mention or single out a child. Obviously these charges are not going to happen overnight but it's a step in the right direction... It will take time and you have to be consistent!
I hope some of these ideas inspire you not to give up just yet!
,Lorina
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Re: I feel like all I am doing is 'behaviour managing'.
Hi RoseRed 123,
Just want you to know you are not alone. This year I am feeling exactly the same as you. We have 11 chn out of 27 who have behaviour difficulties. Some days I feel like a protection officer. We have tried so many different things, structured activities, dividing the chn to separate some of the boys who fight all of the time, but nothing seems to work. I have been working with children for 15 years and have noticed a big change in the way children behave. I'm not sure why.
Some of the 4 year olds I work with tell me to F off and if I ask them to do something they often say NO to me. Even though I follow through with consequences, they just don't seem to care.
We had to talk to one parent about their child's behaviour and the dad just said "Well what do you want me to do about it, it's your job to deal with it". So what hope do we have when some parents don't even support us. I love my job and care deeply about the children and families I work with but sometimes
I go home and feel like I'm not doing my job properly, and I feel like a failure because I can't control the kids.
Just needed to have a rant! Feeling better knowing it's not just me who is having these problems.... Thank you for your honesty.
Jules.
Just want you to know you are not alone. This year I am feeling exactly the same as you. We have 11 chn out of 27 who have behaviour difficulties. Some days I feel like a protection officer. We have tried so many different things, structured activities, dividing the chn to separate some of the boys who fight all of the time, but nothing seems to work. I have been working with children for 15 years and have noticed a big change in the way children behave. I'm not sure why.
Some of the 4 year olds I work with tell me to F off and if I ask them to do something they often say NO to me. Even though I follow through with consequences, they just don't seem to care.
We had to talk to one parent about their child's behaviour and the dad just said "Well what do you want me to do about it, it's your job to deal with it". So what hope do we have when some parents don't even support us. I love my job and care deeply about the children and families I work with but sometimes
I go home and feel like I'm not doing my job properly, and I feel like a failure because I can't control the kids.
Just needed to have a rant! Feeling better knowing it's not just me who is having these problems.... Thank you for your honesty.
Jules.
Re: I feel like all I am doing is 'behaviour managing'.
Hi Lorina That is great advice - I am going to use this next week for a start. I have just started in a room and I am experiencing the same thing as - I made in another post. I have 4 boys and I feel like I spend my time trying to get them to join in and not be challenging and other children just want to learn. If you have any other techniques I would love to know about them. The room Im in has been labelled at the centre the doom room and I feel like this is a part of the problem, children know what adults think through body language and how they treat children. This is my 4th week as a room leader. I have made some progress with emotion stories - this works well but takes time and during group time its like turning your back on the ocean.
Re: I feel like all I am doing is 'behaviour managing'.
Hi Jelly Fish,
It's hard when you have behavioural problems in the room. I'm sorry that the room has already been labelled as the doom room. It's not that great, especially for the children, you and other educators working in the room. It does have a very big impact on the overall atmosphere of the room and the children will definitely be aware of this! So, you need to try and turn it all around... You mentioned you have 4 boys that seems to be the ones having trouble getting engaged. One thing you could try is when the other children are all busy in their experiences you can get the lego and call them over, sit with them and while you all building with the lego just start talking to try and see what they are interested in and want to do. "What do you do at home", "What types of toys do you have". "Do you like building", "Do you have lego like this at home". Just have a conversation with them, build your relationship with them. It could really help... Also, try not to use "Dont" or "No". It's really hard but once you practice it comes easy... Don't and No are so negative and how many times can a child listen to it throughout the day before they just tune it out. Really focus on their good behaviour and give them feedback and appreciation on the good behaviour they have displayed.
These may also help give you ideas:
Behaviour Management In Childcare
Encouraging Phrases For Children
I would love to hear how you go,
,
Lorina
It's hard when you have behavioural problems in the room. I'm sorry that the room has already been labelled as the doom room. It's not that great, especially for the children, you and other educators working in the room. It does have a very big impact on the overall atmosphere of the room and the children will definitely be aware of this! So, you need to try and turn it all around... You mentioned you have 4 boys that seems to be the ones having trouble getting engaged. One thing you could try is when the other children are all busy in their experiences you can get the lego and call them over, sit with them and while you all building with the lego just start talking to try and see what they are interested in and want to do. "What do you do at home", "What types of toys do you have". "Do you like building", "Do you have lego like this at home". Just have a conversation with them, build your relationship with them. It could really help... Also, try not to use "Dont" or "No". It's really hard but once you practice it comes easy... Don't and No are so negative and how many times can a child listen to it throughout the day before they just tune it out. Really focus on their good behaviour and give them feedback and appreciation on the good behaviour they have displayed.
These may also help give you ideas:
Behaviour Management In Childcare
Encouraging Phrases For Children
I would love to hear how you go,
,Lorina
Check out our Resources: Articles | Activities | Printables & Worksheets | EYLF Templates
Childcare Documentation App: Appsessment - Childcare App
Child News: Child Weekly
Childcare Documentation App: Appsessment - Childcare App
Child News: Child Weekly
