moms need your advice for current situation

[bestmom]

Dear mommies. Here’s our current situation at day care. I will start from the beginning. My daughter started there in September last yer. From the first few days we started having issues with them and I was sick worried, barely sleeping. They started saying how she doesn’t listen, doesn’t want to sit in circle time and play with others etc….. It was only few days! They didn’t give her enough time to adjust. She came from another facility where she was always loved and favored and rules were completely different. Right away they jumped to conclusions. Also gave us reports a few times that she pushed another child or hit with a toy, which was also not her usual self since we have never experienced it before among our friend’s kids or in the other daycare. We had a talk with them and explained we don’t feel our daughter is happy there and some of these actions are not her. It seemed to smooth it out and everything was fine ever since up until few weeks ago. I still had the knot in my throat all these months and even sometimes would pop out to check up on her pretending I’m picking her up earlier. I haven’t witnessed much although I did see kids trying to take away her toys that she was holding and teachers were just standing and talking among each other…. I sort of let it slide and thought all kids probably do it to each other. Now few weeks ago they transferred her to a new class and new teacher. We’ve been having big problems with them. Reports every day how my child said this and that and hit and scratched a teacher, etc…. They are saying she does it just because and as well have been saying inappropriate words that we NEVER speak such language at home, nor did I hear such words out of her mouth and actions like hitting and scratching as they describe. I am very very concerned 1. Weather I do believe this teacher since I have never noticed such behavior and language at home. 2. This behavior as they say started since she’s been with the new teacher, maybe the teacher puts her down or screams and god knows what else she does to her. 3. Something triggers my chid to act this way there if she doesn’t feel safe and loved. We have spoken to a director. Director is trying to defend and say that some other teachers saw this behavior, but for some reason we were never informed. Mind you the staff there is very very young. Young as 18-22 yr olds who have no experience with kids and out of school who don’t seem to know how to redirect kids of all types of behavior. And instead write up reports and make the child look bad. Also the way they discipline there is they take these poor kids up front desk and have them sit in time out. They don’t seem to resolve it in a classroom, which is another traumatizing thing for the kids in my opinion. I feel its like a prison there and not relaxed, nurturing, playful place for kids. They expect for kids to act like adults. Really need your advice moms. We’ve been so upset in the last few weeks and as I said from day 1 we weren’t happy there but breaks my heart to transition our daughter once again since she’s not so great at adjusting.
p.s. she’s a perfect child, with strong will, yes sometimes she has meltdowns if she doesn’t get her way but in overall she’s great and funny and happy and so smart. We never see such behavior as they describe at daycare and Im having a very hard time believing them.

[linsaa fdc]

Dear Bestmom,

If I were you I would take her out and go elsewhere. I always tell people to listen to their gut instincts and it sounds like yours is screaming that something is wrong.
Goodness knows how this negative experience is affecting your little one. She should be happy and excited and looking forward to go to care.
If it is hard to find spaces in centres in your area try Family Day care, we can only have 4 little ones at a time and the smaller group might work better for her.

All the best
Linsaa fdc

[Lorina]

I agree with Linsaa!

Sometimes a centre doesn't quite sit right with a child. It could be the group dynamic, the routine or even the teachers themselves. It sounds like your child isn't liking the group and I would probably suggest to find another centre. Children act different when they are with others, especially in childcare. Children are so impressionable... hearing or seeing another child act a certain way while in care could make them do it as well...

You yourself have mentioned that it feels like a prison and you only go there for pick up and drop offs, so imagine what it must be like for your child spending most of their time there!

I know transitions are not easy but you would rather have a happy child and be relaxed yourself knowing your child is safe in care then being worried the whole time!

,
Lorina