Ways to Initiate Conversations with Parents About Challenging Behaviours

In early childhood education, our relationships with families are foundational—but they’re not always easy to navigate. When a child’s behaviour begins to impact the safety or wellbeing of others, educators often find themselves caught between professional responsibility and fear of offending parents. Over time, many have grown hesitant to speak up, even as biting, pushing, and dysregulation become more frequent in toddler rooms.

Below are practical, emotionally intelligent ways to initiate these conversations with families—rooted in respect, partnership, and a shared commitment to every child’s wellbeing.

Start with Strengths

Begin with something positive about the child’s day or development. This builds trust and softens the entry into more sensitive topics.

“Kai has been really engaged in our sensory play today—he’s showing such curiosity and creativity.”

Then gently pivot:

“We’ve also noticed some moments where he’s finding it hard to manage big feelings, and we’d love to work together on strategies.”

Use Observational Language

Avoid labels like “aggressive” or “problematic.” Instead, describe what you’ve seen in neutral, factual terms.

“We’ve observed that during transitions, Ava sometimes pushes when she’s feeling overwhelmed. We’re exploring ways to support her regulation.”

Frame It as a Partnership

Position the conversation as a collaborative effort to support the child’s growth and group wellbeing.

“We know you’re the expert on your child, and we’d love to share what we’re seeing here so we can align our approaches.”

Link to Developmental Norms and Safety

Gently contextualize the behaviour within developmental expectations, while reinforcing your duty of care.

“It’s common for toddlers to express frustration physically, but we also have a responsibility to ensure all children feel safe. Let’s explore what’s working at home and what we can try together.”

Offer Resources or Referrals

If appropriate, suggest tools, readings, or professional support in a non-judgmental way.

“Some families have found visual emotion charts or sensory tools helpful. Would you be open to trying a few strategies together?”

Use Scheduled Check-Ins

Rather than addressing incidents reactively, invite parents to regular wellbeing chats.

“We’re offering short wellbeing check-ins with families this month—would you like to book a time to talk about how things are going for Eli?”

Validate Emotions—Theirs and Yours

Acknowledge that these conversations can be hard, and that your intent is care, not criticism.

“We know these topics can feel sensitive, and we really appreciate your openness. Our goal is always to support your child and the group with compassion.”