I am dealing with two agressive children in my group. We are implementing behaviour management strategies, however this is not stopping one child in particular from biting, hitting and spitting on staff. The parent has been approached several times with no luck. Has anyone else been through this same situation or anything similar?
Would love some feedback.
Cheers
Shoners
Agressive children
Re: Agressive children
Hi Sue,
How frustrating especially when it's directed at staff.
Dealing with aggressive children is a challenge...what works for one child may not work with the other. Try and observe the child in different play scenarios and see if the room environment is actually working for them. Some children need more spaces to play or more challenging activities to engage in. Most cases children are just bored and realize they get more attention by mucking around.
When one of the children turns aggressive, try and begin talking about feelings and how to deal with them. Say something like “STOP I don’t like hitting. It hurts me and it’s not nice. Please don’t use your hands that way”. Use a firm voice but avoid yelling.
Don’t focus on the negative behavior when an incident occurs, even when it’s directed at staff. Comfort the hurt person or if is directed at you say something like “That really hurt me, I don’t like it when you hit me, it makes me sad” and then put the child in time out and walk away. Get another staff member to see if the child wants to check on the staff member. Say something like “Let’s go check on (name) to see if she is alright. When you are ready to say sorry, I know that it will make her feel better”. Try not to force the child to apologize they need to realize what they done was wrong.
Have you tried time out or taking away privileges?
If you don't mind me asking how old are the kids?
Are they like this to all staff or only a particular few?
,
L.A
How frustrating especially when it's directed at staff.
Dealing with aggressive children is a challenge...what works for one child may not work with the other. Try and observe the child in different play scenarios and see if the room environment is actually working for them. Some children need more spaces to play or more challenging activities to engage in. Most cases children are just bored and realize they get more attention by mucking around.
When one of the children turns aggressive, try and begin talking about feelings and how to deal with them. Say something like “STOP I don’t like hitting. It hurts me and it’s not nice. Please don’t use your hands that way”. Use a firm voice but avoid yelling.
Don’t focus on the negative behavior when an incident occurs, even when it’s directed at staff. Comfort the hurt person or if is directed at you say something like “That really hurt me, I don’t like it when you hit me, it makes me sad” and then put the child in time out and walk away. Get another staff member to see if the child wants to check on the staff member. Say something like “Let’s go check on (name) to see if she is alright. When you are ready to say sorry, I know that it will make her feel better”. Try not to force the child to apologize they need to realize what they done was wrong.
Have you tried time out or taking away privileges?
If you don't mind me asking how old are the kids?
Are they like this to all staff or only a particular few?
,L.A
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shoners
Re: Agressive children
Thanks L.A for your response. I have tried the time out situation to no avail this particular child ( 4yrs)thinks this is funny and any agression is acted upon swiftly and with similar words. Its not directed at any staff in particular. I really believe diet has alot to do with this and have spoken to the parents involved who understand that this is normal boy behaviour. More work is needed I realise that, a long hard slog so to speak.
Cheers
Sue
Cheers
Sue
Re: Agressive children
I agree with your point that diet does play a factor towards the child's behavior however it can't be the cause of all the aggression the child is showing. The parents obviously feel as if there isn't anything wrong with their son, so does this mean he is only like this when in childcare or is he like this at home as well? When dealing with an aggressive child it's going to be hard to find a sudden change in behavior. It definitely takes a lot of time and patience from all staff and if possible the child's parents to manage the behavior.
I guess there isn't a set way on managing the behavior and in the end it all comes down to consistency and a trial and error approach. I find out some ways that you can use to deal with the aggressive behavior, they are:
-Since children tend to repeat behaviors that are reinforced, it is important for you to provide them with consistent, positive attention for behaviors that are acceptable.
-Remove child from the stimulant that triggers violent outbursts. This could also include playing with certain peers or on certain activities (such as playing the computer etc).
-Your surroundings can set the tone for calm or chaos. So minimize stress levels in the immediate environment. Provide an area where the child has a chance to spend some time alone, such as a tent with pillows sent up in the quiet area. Also an opportunity for child to spend some time doing individual activities.
-Be selective about the types of television programs the child watches. Don’t let them view shows that depict violence as humorous, or as a way to deal with problems. It's best to discuss this with the parents and encourage them to select more appropriate shows. This can make a big difference.
-Acknowledge the child’s feelings while setting boundaries. Maintain eye contact with the child and find ways to help him verbalize his anger. Let him know that it’s okay to be angry but hurting others in not acceptable behavior. You can say, "I understand that you’re angry but I expect you to (state the boundary)."
The aggression is coming from somewhere so it's important to eliminate the known causes, in helping find a solution to the problem. It may just be boyish behavior but it could also be a serious problem...
I would also recommend an article I wrote called "Anger Management in Children", available in our "Resources" page, under "Child Behavior & Psychology". This article will provide you with practical techniques to use when managing a child's anger, strategies on managing an aggressive child and suggestions to reduce anger in a child and more. You may find a suggestion that you haven't tried before. Click here to read the article.
Let us know on how things are going for you and what you have learnt from this experience.
Cheers
L.A
I guess there isn't a set way on managing the behavior and in the end it all comes down to consistency and a trial and error approach. I find out some ways that you can use to deal with the aggressive behavior, they are:
-Since children tend to repeat behaviors that are reinforced, it is important for you to provide them with consistent, positive attention for behaviors that are acceptable.
-Remove child from the stimulant that triggers violent outbursts. This could also include playing with certain peers or on certain activities (such as playing the computer etc).
-Your surroundings can set the tone for calm or chaos. So minimize stress levels in the immediate environment. Provide an area where the child has a chance to spend some time alone, such as a tent with pillows sent up in the quiet area. Also an opportunity for child to spend some time doing individual activities.
-Be selective about the types of television programs the child watches. Don’t let them view shows that depict violence as humorous, or as a way to deal with problems. It's best to discuss this with the parents and encourage them to select more appropriate shows. This can make a big difference.
-Acknowledge the child’s feelings while setting boundaries. Maintain eye contact with the child and find ways to help him verbalize his anger. Let him know that it’s okay to be angry but hurting others in not acceptable behavior. You can say, "I understand that you’re angry but I expect you to (state the boundary)."
The aggression is coming from somewhere so it's important to eliminate the known causes, in helping find a solution to the problem. It may just be boyish behavior but it could also be a serious problem...
I would also recommend an article I wrote called "Anger Management in Children", available in our "Resources" page, under "Child Behavior & Psychology". This article will provide you with practical techniques to use when managing a child's anger, strategies on managing an aggressive child and suggestions to reduce anger in a child and more. You may find a suggestion that you haven't tried before. Click here to read the article.
Let us know on how things are going for you and what you have learnt from this experience.
Cheers
L.A
Re: Agressive children
Just commenting on your two aggressive children. The fact that they are biting, hitting and spitting on staff is not acceptable at all. These type of behaviours whether it is nutrition, behaviour management, environment or undiagnosed problem doesn't matter. This situation should be addressed immediately with the Director and a meeting set up with the parents of the children. After speaking to all concerned a behaviour management plan should be put into practise with all parties on board and agreeable with what is to be implemented. If things should not improve then further documentation should be recorded about each child's behaviour and encouraging the parents to further investigate their behaviour by medical professionals.shoners wrote:I am dealing with two agressive children in my group. We are implementing behaviour management strategies, however this is not stopping one child in particular from biting, hitting and spitting on staff. The parent has been approached several times with no luck. Has anyone else been through this same situation or anything similar?
Would love some feedback.
Cheers
Shoners
Hope this helps J
Re: Agressive children
Hi Sue,
Just wondering how’s it all going with the two aggressive children in your class? Has the situation been defused or are you still having problems? I would love to know how you have gone about handling the situation or if it is still continuing… You have already heard it all before but here are a few helpful you can use:
• Set the rule. Make sure the child knows that hitting is not allowed.
• Redirect the behavior. Teach the child positive behaviors to replace hurtful ones. If the child hits, tell him, "That is not what we do with our hands." Then have him do something positive with his hands, like building with blocks. If he has kicked a playmate, have him kick a ball. This will teach the child that there are acceptable and unacceptable uses for his body parts.
• Promote empathy. If the child pushes their friend down, have them help the friend get back up. Remind him of a time when they were pushed and ask how it felt.
• Role-play. You can role-play situations with the child in which he is likely to become angry or frustrated. Suggest ways he can respond appropriately, like asking for a turn or "using his words."
• Praise good behavior. For example, tell the child, "I like how you shared your crayons." This will help him to learn what behavior is expected.
• Be a good model. If the child sees you yelling when you are frustrated, he will learn that this is an acceptable way to respond to stress.
Hope all is well,
,
L.A
Just wondering how’s it all going with the two aggressive children in your class? Has the situation been defused or are you still having problems? I would love to know how you have gone about handling the situation or if it is still continuing… You have already heard it all before but here are a few helpful you can use:
• Set the rule. Make sure the child knows that hitting is not allowed.
• Redirect the behavior. Teach the child positive behaviors to replace hurtful ones. If the child hits, tell him, "That is not what we do with our hands." Then have him do something positive with his hands, like building with blocks. If he has kicked a playmate, have him kick a ball. This will teach the child that there are acceptable and unacceptable uses for his body parts.
• Promote empathy. If the child pushes their friend down, have them help the friend get back up. Remind him of a time when they were pushed and ask how it felt.
• Role-play. You can role-play situations with the child in which he is likely to become angry or frustrated. Suggest ways he can respond appropriately, like asking for a turn or "using his words."
• Praise good behavior. For example, tell the child, "I like how you shared your crayons." This will help him to learn what behavior is expected.
• Be a good model. If the child sees you yelling when you are frustrated, he will learn that this is an acceptable way to respond to stress.
Hope all is well,
,L.A
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shoners
Re: Agressive children
Thanks L.A I am trying a strategy called 123 magic where we are giving the child a 2 options to cease this behaviour 1being a negative and 2 being a positive. We are finding the child will nearly always choose the positive I will say this goes our way 8 out of 10 Its working slowly
Cheers
Cheers
Re: Agressive children
Another behaviour management strategy is a long process but one that was taught by the endeavour foundation and at Tafe years ago. The Three CCC's Calm, Consistenancy, Consequence. Looking into behaviour managment is a quick fix for most people or grasping at straws which just makes the situation worse.
The first step is to record time, place, what is happening in a time event observation for a period of two or three weeks, really observing the behaviour with objective recordings eg, "Child sat on the floor and through a toy across the room after being asked to pack away", exactly what the child is doing. After observing the times, places, and actions of staff and children then a discussion between parents and staff should be set up to put behaviour management strategies into place. Once everyone is agreed with these strategies then the behaviour management needs to be at least trialled over a period of two to three weeks and usually dealing with only one behaviour at a time, remember once the behaviour management plan is introduced expect the behaviours to get worse at first but push through to allow the new plan to work, this is common (which the super nanny on T.V. forgot to tell the parents of the show).
After two to three weeks another discussion is set up to see if improvements are being noticed or whether another strategy needs to be put into place.
Some examples of behaviour management plan could include environment - how the room is set up inside/outside for supervision and being able to address the behaviour when you see it may occur, (get there before it happens), Staff response being calm is the only way to tackle behaviour management when dealing with agressive children and being consistent as well. Setting up positive direction eg, "Good packing up ", instead of good boy or good girl as they may not no what they are being praised for, telling children what needs to be expected and letting children know what is happening next can also help eg, routine. Other questions to ask yourself, Is the routine too structured, how many days does the children come, do I need to split the group allowing less children in more space, am I being calm when I address a behavior, do I need to learn more about behaviour management etc, etc.
Good Luck but the best advice is to book into a behaviour management course, specifically for young children not School age as this is a very different environment and may not be appropriate. Remember a positive behaviour management plan will only work if all staff are willing to do it over a period of time.
J
The first step is to record time, place, what is happening in a time event observation for a period of two or three weeks, really observing the behaviour with objective recordings eg, "Child sat on the floor and through a toy across the room after being asked to pack away", exactly what the child is doing. After observing the times, places, and actions of staff and children then a discussion between parents and staff should be set up to put behaviour management strategies into place. Once everyone is agreed with these strategies then the behaviour management needs to be at least trialled over a period of two to three weeks and usually dealing with only one behaviour at a time, remember once the behaviour management plan is introduced expect the behaviours to get worse at first but push through to allow the new plan to work, this is common (which the super nanny on T.V. forgot to tell the parents of the show).
After two to three weeks another discussion is set up to see if improvements are being noticed or whether another strategy needs to be put into place.
Some examples of behaviour management plan could include environment - how the room is set up inside/outside for supervision and being able to address the behaviour when you see it may occur, (get there before it happens), Staff response being calm is the only way to tackle behaviour management when dealing with agressive children and being consistent as well. Setting up positive direction eg, "Good packing up ", instead of good boy or good girl as they may not no what they are being praised for, telling children what needs to be expected and letting children know what is happening next can also help eg, routine. Other questions to ask yourself, Is the routine too structured, how many days does the children come, do I need to split the group allowing less children in more space, am I being calm when I address a behavior, do I need to learn more about behaviour management etc, etc.
Good Luck but the best advice is to book into a behaviour management course, specifically for young children not School age as this is a very different environment and may not be appropriate. Remember a positive behaviour management plan will only work if all staff are willing to do it over a period of time.
J
Re: Agressive children
Hi Jane,
Just like to say that I really enjoyed reading your response! You sure know what you are talking about... Your answers/replies are great and it's nice to know that you are willing to share your knowledge and experiences with others.
Thanks again for all your info that you have provided!
Cheers ,
L.A
Just like to say that I really enjoyed reading your response! You sure know what you are talking about... Your answers/replies are great and it's nice to know that you are willing to share your knowledge and experiences with others.
Thanks again for all your info that you have provided!
Cheers
,L.A
Re: Agressive children
I agree with everything Jane has said. At the begining of this year, I was placed in a room with a child who attends care 5 days a week, was violent towards staff and other peers. The amount of times I left the room in tears is uncountable. After a few months of not getting anywhere with this child using the advice of my director and room leader and starting to dislike my job, I took things into my own hands. I observed this child for a full day (on my RDO), watched for triggers so I would get familiar with what would set this child off and from this I was able to step in and remove the child from the situation or distract him. I also noticed that the majority of attention this child was getting was negative! Because of his 'reputation', the staff rarely interacted with him apart from when he needed to be pulled into line. So after that day, I made sure I would sit with him while he was playing and engage in general conversations with him, I'd praise him for the smallest of tasks and get him to help me with jobs. Within 6 weeks, this child was completely different. And to this day, I would gladly have a classroom full of children like this one!
I hope your situation has improved Sue.
I hope your situation has improved Sue.
Re: Agressive children
Hi Cris,
I have to say I truly respect the time and effort you put in to find out the cause of the problem with this child... Not alot of childcare professionals are willing to go that extra mile but it's great to hear how you dealt with your situation... I admire your ethics!
Thanks for not just giving up and also thanks for sharing your experience!!
Cheers,
L.A
I have to say I truly respect the time and effort you put in to find out the cause of the problem with this child... Not alot of childcare professionals are willing to go that extra mile but it's great to hear how you dealt with your situation... I admire your ethics!
Thanks for not just giving up and also thanks for sharing your experience!!
Cheers
,L.A
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teresamc
Re: Agressive children
I agree with L.A. Cris! It does take time to sit back and carefully observe a child to see what is going on. I've got a child in my group who gets very aggressive but we're working on anger management with the whole group so at least we have some common language to deal with things.
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thubten_399
- Newbie
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Tue Jan 03, 2012 3:26 pm
Re: Agressive children
I think most ideas have been shared but I have a few ideas that I have tried and have worked. First of all L.A had some great ideas to implement. 
*Once the child has hit, bitten,pushed etc another child, ask them why they did it. I have found that many children will answer "coz I wanted to". I have then said "well how would you feel if ? hit, bit, pushed you?" and then talk it through starting that way. Always finish with "i hope you don't want to hurt your friends again. Think about how you would feel if they did it to you".
*Ask parents if you can get video footage of their aggressive child when they are behaving this way & do this for perhaps a week. The child may not behave this way at home. Once you have done this, sit them down & show them the recording. Even if the child does do this at home, seeing them on the recording may prompt them to take more time to work on the problem with you.
*Shadow the child throughout the day or if you are unable to do this all day, then tag team with other staff so that every educator can witness this behaviour & document it and you may find that one of the educators might find a trigger to this behaviour. The child may not be so willing to harm pothers knowing they are being watched thoroughly.
I hope this info is opf some use to you.
x
*Once the child has hit, bitten,pushed etc another child, ask them why they did it. I have found that many children will answer "coz I wanted to". I have then said "well how would you feel if ? hit, bit, pushed you?" and then talk it through starting that way. Always finish with "i hope you don't want to hurt your friends again. Think about how you would feel if they did it to you".
*Ask parents if you can get video footage of their aggressive child when they are behaving this way & do this for perhaps a week. The child may not behave this way at home. Once you have done this, sit them down & show them the recording. Even if the child does do this at home, seeing them on the recording may prompt them to take more time to work on the problem with you.
*Shadow the child throughout the day or if you are unable to do this all day, then tag team with other staff so that every educator can witness this behaviour & document it and you may find that one of the educators might find a trigger to this behaviour. The child may not be so willing to harm pothers knowing they are being watched thoroughly.
I hope this info is opf some use to you.
x
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Sarah999
Re: Agressive children
I recently had dealing with a kid who was very disruptive. The issue was he would never listed. Eventually we found that giving thumbs up for good behavior and thumbs down for bad behavior worked.
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Christian Friborg
- Newbie
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:29 am
Re: Agressive children
This has been my problem with my first child during his 2nd and 3rd year but when he finally turned four he became more caring and careful from the things he's been doing. We never get tired of giving him enough advice and care as his pattern of aggressive behavior changed significantly. 
Re: Agressive children
This has been my problem with my first child during his 2nd and 3rd year but when he finally turned four he became more caring and careful from the things he's been doing.
Sometimes maturity really helps! It seems like your child kinda snapped out of his aggressive behavior once he understood and realized what he was doing. When a child is either 2 or 3 they are really pushing the boundaries and even they they may understand what they are doing is wrong they can't help themselves but continue this way. They enjoy getting a reaction from parents, from teachers, from their peers it's like a power play...
We never get tired of giving him enough advice and care as his pattern of aggressive behavior changed significantly.
That's great to hear... you need to be consistent, even though you may feel you have repeated the same thing over a hundred times during the day. It's important to acknowledge and respond to positive behavior and come up with a technique which works for your child.
Happy to hear it all worked out!
,L.A
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LucindaArgyle
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Re: Agressive children
I think for this kind of behavior you need to understand the child and don't use any harsh word or aggressive behavior with him because it makes him more aggressive.
Re: Agressive children
Hi
I now this is a few months down the road.
Aggression and anger is a huge topic. I like all the different ideas and insights. I've actually worked with chn - 41/2 and older children. We had a few kids with real anger issues. It starts from family situation, dynamics it can be obvious or not, many facets on family relationships and than the parenting chn get.
The other area of anger that is not obvious in young chn is that anger is a form of depression. Childhood depression can be misdiagnosed or missed especially if the child has anti-behaviour with aggression.
I now this is a few months down the road.
Aggression and anger is a huge topic. I like all the different ideas and insights. I've actually worked with chn - 41/2 and older children. We had a few kids with real anger issues. It starts from family situation, dynamics it can be obvious or not, many facets on family relationships and than the parenting chn get.
The other area of anger that is not obvious in young chn is that anger is a form of depression. Childhood depression can be misdiagnosed or missed especially if the child has anti-behaviour with aggression.
Re: Agressive children
leenie wrote:Hi
I now this is a few months down the road.
Aggression and anger is a huge topic. I like all the different ideas and insights. I've actually worked with chn - 41/2 and older children. We had a few kids with real anger issues. It starts from family situation, dynamics it can be obvious or not, many facets on family relationships and than the parenting chn get.
The other area of anger that is not obvious in young chn is that anger is a form of depression. Childhood depression can be misdiagnosed or missed especially if the child has anti-behaviour with aggression.
It's sad isn't it seeing children with these issues from such an early age. There is only so much we can do and so much we can support a child who show these signs of anger. It is hard coping with a child who is depressed and if we are the only person in the child's life offering help and support sometimes may not be enough which can makes matters worse. Although I guess we can offer techniques and strategies in order to teach the child to cope with their anger like stress busters I guess. Such as squeezing a stress ball, tearing paper, playing with play dough, punching a pillow...
,L.A
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Re: Agressive children
In one of my previous centres had a child in my room that turns aggressive towards others when he stays at his dads house the previous day. His parents are divorced. It is just that particular day when he comes to the centre he is an absolute terror. We spoke to his mum about it and she pin points it to dad letting him do whatever he wants and buys him whatever he wants and when he comes back to care where he has to follow rules and share he doesn't like it. Maybe he is feeling depressed because he only gets to spend only a short amount of time with his dad. Not sure but whatever it is this child is being affected by the family situation.
,
L.A
,L.A
