screaming child

[smippy]

this is a question not so much industry related but just something that I have been wondering about on a personal level.We have a small child of maybe 3 or 4 yrs of age living in our street,who constantly screams at what appears to be nothing and for no reason.He screams when outside alsowhen he is indoors usually behind a locked screen door.This child has very limited english as he is from a non english speaking background.He was attending childcare but this has suddenly stopped,he does still wear either nappies or pullups as from working in the industry myself I can spot these.so am wondering if he is not toilet trained either and the centre refused to have him there until he was.????

[linsaa fdc]

Hi Smippy,
In family day care we would not refuse a child no matter what the age just for not being toilet trained, there are many other factors that could be the reason he is not in the centre anymore. I hope his mother is ok and is coping and has a support network, it is very hard for people with children with additional needs if they are doing it all on their own.

linsaa fdc

[smippy]

Ok not sure if this forum is worldwide but I know for a fact that here in australia children who are still in nappies at this child's age are not accepted into childcare as it is a childcare centres responsibility to prepare to some extent a child for school life.The mother does have her spouse for support but I believe that due to their cultural orientation the mother is be expected to do most of the child rearing.The child is question along with his sibling are kept inside quite alot as they cannot be trusted without supervision and there is none forthcoming from the parents.The children play in other people's gardens and have generally caused general upset amongst neighbours....anyway I have gone off topic,thanks for your response.

[Lorina]

Hi Smippy,

At the centres here in OZ, I have worked at previously we have had preschool age children in nappies that we have accepted into the centre. It's actually very discriminatory if you don't accept a child because they are in nappies. Just because a child wears nappies it doesn't mean they should miss out on all the other benefits of going to preschool.... During the case where the preschool child is in nappies we work together with the family in regards to toilet training to get the child out of nappies before the year end. It only takes a week or 2 since by this age a child is able to comprehend and understand their bodily functions and the feeling of having to go...

As for the screaming maybe it's a way to get attention, could be out of boredom as well... Imagine you were kept inside all day with little to do and no stimulation, you'd be screaming too! Maybe you could offer to take the children to a nearby park one afternoon to help get them out of the house or maye just introduce yourself to see if they need any help or anything...

,
Lorina

[linsaa fdc]

Hi Smippy,

You sound very concerned about the family, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. I would do what Lorina suggested and maybe pop over and introduce myself and maybe invite them over for coffee. About their culture, as I'm sure you know, what is completely normal in one culture might not be the norm in ours. In my husbands culture they feed the children up to 3 years old depending on the food. I have a new child starting and the mother who is aussie said the baby won't let her feed him so since he was 7months old to get him to eat she puts his food in front of him on the highchair tray and lets him go for it. He is 10.5 months now and starting soon and to be honest I really don't agree with that because I think how much is he eating as the food goes everywhere but that's my opinion and I'll see how he goes with me.
Go with your gut, at the end of the day we all have a responsibility to make sure all children are safe.

linsaa fdc

[smippy]

Thankyou for your responses.We have made the offer of inviting her over for coffee etc and have even offered to teach her English but all this has been met with nothing.It is rumoured that she has in fact told the landlord of the property that they rent that everyone else in the street HATES THEM I fail to see how we can when we don't know them.A neighbour has taken the eldest child out to play in the park when she takes her own child out and this has lead to the children thinking that they live there if you know what I mean..?

[linsaa fdc]

It sounds like you've done everything you can, nobody can know what trauma someone has gone through or is going through, or has depression or post natal depression.
It is nice that she has a caring neighbour like yourself, hopefully things will be ok.

[smippy]

Ok this is going to be the last post from me on this subject.We as a neighbourhood are sick and tired of their ratbag children running amok using what was once our lovely quite street as a) a playground,b) a toilet (yes this is encouraged by the mother who has shown the youngest child to urinate up against a tree) and c) a rubbish dump.Older children who visit the residence are obviously taking on the childcare role which is not right in my opinion.And last but not least yes there may have been trauma in their past lives but it certainly isn't evident now with their carefree lifestyle and their flash new car which the average tax paying Australian could never afford to own.