False Accusation

[Alerie]

I have had a co-worker make a false incident report to my Director at work. While it didn't end up being too serious, it could have been. In a nutshell I was accused of handling a child in a dangerous and negative way (e.g. taking off the change table by the arms). Even though we know not to do that and even if I did (by accident) you usually get gentle reminders to be careful due to children arms being accidentally dislocated. I did explain I was not aware of any incident that occured and my Room Leader had not confronted or told me I had handled a child wrong nor did I recall doings such a thing and that is about it. But I felt like a complete idiot, being asked by the Director to give my side of the story of an incident I didn't know anything about and then being told by the Director what the incident was. She said, my co-worker already informed me and had a conversation with me about handling children etc. (she did not ). I am so shocked as I never had tension with this worker (been working with for three years) or anything for her to make a false accusation let alone lie about having spoken to me as a Room Leader about how to handle the children. I signed a letter recounting the conversation I had on the issue with the Director and will politely confront said staff member on a follow up to make sure there is no miscommunication issue, but I have been sitting at home dumb founded. Especially since there has been a false report made and is something could potentially be quite serious if it was ever brought up (child abuse). Even the letter I signed with my Director makes me sound like I had an aggressive interaction when I had just been changing nappies and assisting children in taking their shoes of. In fact the child I was accused of handling wrong, I did not even CHANGE. Even if the matter is solved, I do not want to let it slide knowing that it was made falsely. I am so shocked. I don't understand why she would do this and am anxious to work in the room with her knowing such false accusations are made. Fair enough if I was in the wrong and needed a reminder or a reprimand for not following policy, but none of what she is saying occured, not the claims she 'spoke' to me of the incident. The whole meeting with the Director was awkward because of that and she probably thought I was feigning ignorance. Any advice? I asked the staff member to speak with her about the incident later in the week, but I can't let something like this slide by considering such an accusation could leave windows open in the future for far more serious things (child abuse). Any advice?

[linsaa fdc]

Hi ALerie,
What an awful situation to be in, could the person accusing have gotten you mixed up with someone else?
As uncomfortable as this is you should do what she should have done in the first place and speak to her directly before it gets even more out of hand.
All the best
Linsaa fdc

[Alerie]

I am not sure and I don't think so. I am having a one-on-one conversation with her tomorrow about what she claims to have happened and I have sent an email to my director explaining my side of things. Even though this was only a polite reprimand, it is false and I am wondering what I should do, because of its potential to lead to something in terms of precedent on file or if that worker causes trouble for me in the future. I just don't know what to do now. It is her word against mine. I am hoping to mitigate it to a miscommunication. Like I said I am not in trouble, my Director merely used the incident that was reported as an opportunity to support professional development and follow policy. But because the incident could have been quite serious in nature, I am wondering how I should proceed from there?

[Lorina]

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I'm not sure why you have been falsely accused and why you have been put on the spot like this. Did anything happen between you and the staff member before this accusation was made? Think back even a couple of weeks ago... Anything that she may have taken the wrong way, maybe something you said or did... Even though, why you've been blamed for something you didn't do it beyond me.

She could be angry at something you did or could be jealous with any close relationships you have formed with children or families and is acting out against you. I know that it's so immature and against all work ethics but it happens and especially with woman working together! So high school, so childish!

You need to make it clear to your director that you did not change that child as the room leader claims that you did! If you have evidence to support this (nappy change log with your signature) then it will help you prove that this didn't happen. Also you should point out to your director that you were not spoken to about this supposed incident by the room leader, you could put this incident in writing, sign it as well and give a copy to the director and keep one for yourself...

Also when you have your conversation with the room leader, after the conversation note down everything that was said. So, you have a record of what was spoken about and what happened, who said what etc. You should also go back to the director and inform them of the conversation. I understand that it may be private but letting you director know what is happening is important so they are aware of the situation...

If you have been falsely accused then you need to stand up for yourself... It's not right that you have been backed up into a corner like this.

,
Lorina

[Lorina]

Just wanted to add - when this issue is sorted let it be... Don't hold grudges as it's probably going to get really uncomfortable for you at work with this particular educator. Go to work, keep your head held high and continue as you would any other day. I know it may be difficult as you have 100 thoughts going through head on what you would like to do or say but keep it professional...Try not to let it get to you!

,
Lorina

[Alerie]

Sigh,

She isn't a staff member I have had issues with though I do think there is some dislike over subtle things done which are not worth mentioning. She has done something similar before, not that it was an incident, but complained she was uncomfortable with me using my own camera to take pictures of my focus child for my diploma to the Director. Of which I am legally and policy wise allowed to for studying purposes with the centre and parental permission. I didn't fight that one and used the centre camera (it just made it difficult as I had to save photos on a USB and reformat it for assessments).

Anyway I sent a respectful email to the Director and the issue is going up to HR before we have any sort of mediation. The only thing I expect is we will discuss better communication strategies to avoid misunderstanding in the future.

Thanks for the advice Lorina, I am always mindful to be respectful and professional towards colleagues, but as I am a permanent casual and at liberty to move around I am tempted to make it clear I am now extremely uncomfortable working alone with her in the room. usually there is a third person there (said person was sick) and we were in ratio for the day so no replacement was needed. I'd only feel safer that way. I am not one to hold a grudge, but I am extremely saddened and disappointed. I don't think she did it out to get me per say, she is a bit buddy buddies with the Director and probably liked the spot light of 'reporting' things. But I just sit at home thinking of how serious and dangerous things like this can turn out.

anyway I will find out how things proceed next week. Thanks for your advice.

[Lorina]

Hey!

Just wanted to follow up... How are things going?

Has this issue been sorted?

,
Lorina

[Alerie]

Thanks for catching up. Not as of yet. It went to HR, which has come back from the Director. I am just waiting for her to Okay me having a meeting with the Room Leader who said this or if it requires a mediator. Best outcome I can hope for is to be clear on better communication strategies and clustering children in the bathroom after lunch on busy days (not supposed to) to avoid any 'misunderstanding of interactions' in the future (even though what she said was false). I will only request that it is put in writing that I completely disagree that the incident occurred. That's the most I can hope for. I'll post an update on if things have run smoothly. Just takes a little bit as we are part of a big organisation. It was nice of you to check on me

Alerie

[Lorina]

Just want to know if you're alright! When I went through my own dramas it was hard to talk to anyone outside of work about the issues... so just letting you know that if you need to vent or want to talk I am here for you!

It is surprising that this issue still hasn't been sorted out! Even though that you are in a big organisation this should of been dealt with in a more proactive and efficient way. It's been 2 weeks since the incident occurred... I just hope that they don't "forget" about it...

It's a great idea to get this incident signed off in writing... That way you have proof of what really happened during this incident...

I'm here if you need me!

,
Lorina

[Alerie]

hah. For anonymity sake we are part of a big organisation that is more than just child care. HR deals with a huge chunk of stuff and so as far as admin matters are concerned their paperwork takes forever. They have gotten back, I am just waiting for my Director to arrange it. Rest assured it will be dealt with by next week as I will push for it.

Yes it is nice to have a place to vent and I am glad I found this forum with other educators who understand since I have nowhere else to go to and have to keep anonymity

Thanks Lorina.

[Lorina]

Great to hear that you're on top of things and not letting this issue slide!

You'll be right!

,
Lorina

[Alerie]

Just an update.

So basically the Director told me that HR viewed it as a complaint and that we don't want it to go to a 'he said, she said,' issue. I made that blatantly clear in my email the first time around suggesting instead we have a mediation discussing better communication strategies and routine practices to avoid room crowding so staff member can pay attention to what they were doing.
I basically had a letter from HR saying the matter was 'dealt' with and so there needs not to be an issue going further. I was given a copy of the code of conduct and told (in a nice way) by the Director about arranging some professional development about interactions with children. I was told I was NOT allowed to follow this up with the staff member even though I made it clear we were only going to discuss better communication strategies like any normal group meeting-not accuse her of playing it false. It
is imperative that this is done as this staff member happens to be the Room Leader so it is her job to communicate properly. In that regard I just wanted it in writing that I disagreed the incident happened, but agree to work towards using different strategies. Right. My face must have looked like I was sucking on a lemon. I made it blatantly clear that this letter from HR had nothing to do with my grievance and they are not even letting me use the 'professional development' that is relavent to the situation. The whole issue is completely bogus and confusing. I am essentially being told to shut up and move along. Usually I would, but not when the nature of the incident reporting is done suspiciously and falsely.

I guess my only course of action now is to keep everything on record, but I will be speaking to my Union about this. Seriously, I was so nice about it and instead of denying it outright, I compromised and suggested we focus on communication instead of turning it into something nasty. Can't even do that-completely told to suck it up. I refuse to be a push-over.

[Lorina]

So, in other words your issue has not been dealt with what so ever and what ever the room leader had said to the Director/HR well they believed her and you are made to look like the bad guy. I don't see what the big issue is with you discussing communication strategies with your room leader and as you said communication is important for the room as a whole!

How have they dealt with the room leader in regards to falsely accusing you? Have they addressed this issue? They are quick to judge you since apparently the room leader made a complaint about you but what about your issue? Who is there to back you up? What strategies have they put in place for the room leader?

I'm sorry that this isn't the outcome that you had hoped for and now you have to spend your time following up this matter because the centre swept it under the rug.

Very frustrating!

,
Lorina