Talking To Parent About Mistakes Made With Their Child

[chrissy201307]

Hi all,
I had a very busy and stressed day last Friday. Half of permanent staff away and unsettled new children. Near end of day I made a mistake:

When gave fruit i forgot a child has banana intolerance. Mum came in to pick him up, she didn't say anything, but may saw there were a slice banana in her child plate. The child went to mum cuddle, and then came back, asked for a pear to eat.

later on I went to kitchen get more banana, I suddenly realised it and I rushed to room to remind the casual educator who was serving food. The casual said when giving banana mum said her child can't have it. So I didn't think the child had banana, and didn't mention my concern to mum then. But bcs I m not 100% sure I feel frustrated and worried.

I don't know want to do now. (the child only Friday), shall I call to ask how is the child going, or wait until Friday the child come?

[Lorina]

I'm sorry I missed your question!

I don't think the child ate the banana because the casual mentioned that the parent spoke to them about not giving banana to the child so you don't have to worry about that. However you should probably mention again to the parent that you and staff are aware of the child having banana intolerance and apologise that the banana was put on the child's plate as a mistake. You need to reassure the parent that the child isn't given banana throughout the day..

It's ok we all make mistakes but we really need to be careful when it comes to food allergies and all...

,
Lorina

[linsaa fdc]

Hi Wenda,
This sounds like it is bothering you, so if it was me and I was troubled by it I would call the parent and have a chat. I agree with Lorina, we all do make mistakes and when you have such a large group and the child is there only once a week its harder to remember, we are only human doing a ridiculously busy job sometimes.
I find if it troubles me I talk to the family right away, sometimes they were thinking the same thing and didn't want to say anything. If the mum did see it you don't want it on her mind all week that is how tensions can start.
All the best
Linsaa fdc

[chrissy201307]

Hi all,

good answer. If I Had knew it, I ll definitely do it.
Sometimes I just feel struggling with communicating strategies... U want to apologise, but dont want parent feel that busy is an excuse...

After I consulted my other child care worker friend, I waited until Friday to explain, but that morning mum was rushy, haven't got chance to talk when drop off. Mum didn't show any concern, I still think is shall I mention and apologise...

[linsaa fdc]

Hi Wenda,
I think we all struggle with communicating when there is an issue but in my experience its best to just get it done and its over with rather than it churning in your stomach for days. My parents are always busy so I write a note in their communication book, email or text and ask them if they could allow 10 minutes within the next couple of days for a chat. That way they are also prepared and they aren't caught by surprise.
All the best
Linsaa fdc

[Lorina]

I agree with Linsaa, effective communication starts by having open and clear discussions with parents regardless if you had made a mistake. It builds better trust and relationships to just let the parent know what had happened rather than not saying anything hoping that the incident is forgotten. Yes, I agree that parents are busy during pick up and are rushing to get home put dinner on or to settle after a hard days work so you need to find an alternate methid if you don't have time to talk to each parent during pick ups.

Use this incident to better improve parent communication within your room and maybe try implementing a different strategy to discuss the "child's day" with parents. Such as Linsaa suggested - communication book, email, text, etc.

Hope this helps,

,
Lorina

[i*love*pugs]

I work as a Nanny, so my situation is a bit different to your. However, I have worked in kindergartens and childcare centres. I worked for a family a couple of years ago that were very strict about the children's diet.No junk food at all!!! However the girl (5) started at an ELC and became aware that other children were eating foods like chocolate, etc... Every birthday seemed to be followed by a gift bag that had lollies in them. This child really developed an obsession about lollies, particularly chocolate. I was told by her mother that any gift bags were to be taken from her and brought home. The girl soon learned that this would happen and would scoff as many of the lollies as possible before we were allowed into the classroom to collect the children.

I knew her mother would be very unhappy if she found out that her daughter had been eating sweets. However, I did have a discussion with the mother and suggested that maybe her daughter could choose one item out of the bag and I would then confiscate the rest. The mother thought this was acceptable since her child was being constantly exposed to junk food at school. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it gives the parents a level of trust in you. One time, her younger brother was given a chocolate car when we were having lunch at a cafe. The owner of the cafe was very well meaning as he did not know the children were not allowed sweets. The boy(3) could not get it into his mouth fast enough and that was another discussion I had with the mother.

Food is a big issue for some parents. My approach is to be honest about any issues and the parents (unless they are very unreasonable people) are generally really good. I keep a communication book with my family I work with, even though I now work for an agency and sometimes only work with a family once!

[Lorina]

I work as a Nanny, so my situation is a bit different to your. However, I have worked in kindergartens and childcare centres. I worked for a family a couple of years ago that were very strict about the children's diet.No junk food at all!!! However the girl (5) started at an ELC and became aware that other children were eating foods like chocolate, etc... Every birthday seemed to be followed by a gift bag that had lollies in them. This child really developed an obsession about lollies, particularly chocolate. I was told by her mother that any gift bags were to be taken from her and brought home. The girl soon learned that this would happen and would scoff as many of the lollies as possible before we were allowed into the classroom to collect the children.

I knew her mother would be very unhappy if she found out that her daughter had been eating sweets. However, I did have a discussion with the mother and suggested that maybe her daughter could choose one item out of the bag and I would then confiscate the rest. The mother thought this was acceptable since her child was being constantly exposed to junk food at school. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but it gives the parents a level of trust in you. One time, her younger brother was given a chocolate car when we were having lunch at a cafe. The owner of the cafe was very well meaning as he did not know the children were not allowed sweets. The boy(3) could not get it into his mouth fast enough and that was another discussion I had with the mother.

Food is a big issue for some parents. My approach is to be honest about any issues and the parents (unless they are very unreasonable people) are generally really good. I keep a communication book with my family I work with, even though I now work for an agency and sometimes only work with a family once!

It's great to see you working with the family to compromise a solution that has the child's interests at heart. That created a strong foundation in building the relationship between you and the family.

Food is probably the most concerning for any parent. My daughter and the rest of us are vegetarian and I am very strict with what types of food she is exposed to. Since she is growing up and is currently 3 years old she understands that some people are vegetarian and others eat meat. When we go shopping she points to the "meat" section and says "we don't eat meat that's because we are vegetarian". My point is that as a parent myself with strict food restrictions, if an educator or babysitter were to look after my child I want to be assured that they understand the "food" side of things and if anything happens or there are issues or concerns I want to be told about it. Rather than find out later because a child will mention EVERYTHING! HaHaHaHa

"i*love*pugs are you still working with the same family? how many kids do you look after?

,
Lorina