hi guys,
I have been working with this child for the past year and a half. this child to me is an interesting case. I cant seem to pin point the proper reason for the behaviours that they display. first of all I'm in the preschool room, during the morning the child seems to be ok but as more children start to arrive I notice a change in body language and moods. He starts to get carried away with others and of it doesn't work out the way he plans he tends to lash out by hitting and/or saying mean things to upset his friends or snatching toys etc. now I know this is typical behaviour that is in the text books but theres more (oh by the way his language is beyond great considering he is 4). as the day progresses the behaviour escalates to the point where all educators working with in the room are calling his name and stopping him and talking to him about his behaviour and the why's of not doing said behaviours. it has gotten to the point where the other children just don't want to play with him because he's snatching toys or hitting and being slightly vengeful if teacher intervene in an argument and the other children get the toy and he doesn't, he basically seeks out revenge and runs up to them and slams his body against them to knock them over.
now for the lunch time and relaxation part of the routine. during this time he is very disruptive and noisy which i know sometimes children are like that and that's just their prerogative but regardless of how many times we tell him to be considerate of the others he continues. educators at this point have lost the children's focus and it shard to get it back with the constant disruption. on top of this behaviour from this child i have another in the room that is constantly buzzing which i suspect of having ADD but the parents are in denial. the child will do his best to copy what the ADD child is doing and they often bounce off each others energies which can be very overwhelming at times. this is hard to manage due to there only being two educators in the room with 20 children. anyways once its lunch time it into as bad but as its rest time the disruption increase 3 times more. now my routine is that the children read books for approximately 10 - 15 mins give or take when we finish writing our reflection then we move onto yoga which usually lasts up to 20 mins and from there the children lay on the yoga mats to have a rest for 10 - 15 mins. the children that wish to sleep or still really need a sleep move into the juniors room as we have an adjoining door. now during this time this child is exhausted but is the hardest child i have ever encountered to put to sleep (he hits, kicks, slaps, screams, negotiates like crazy etc) its takes to long therefore i do not get him to sleep but he is always running around and being disruptive tot he children that are following the routine. this i know he does for attention because by this point in the day educators are tired of the behaviours and have gotten to the point of just ignoring because there has been no response to any form of discipline we have implemented on this child, there simple is no reaction from him as he does not care.
the afternoon is a little easier but not by much. at this point we are outside playing and enjoying the sun where he is off playing the other boys but every 15-20mins or so the children come to me or my colleague and say he hit me or did this to me etc. we have this going on till the parent comes to pick him up around 3.30ish.
since day one being with this child i have been firm in my discipline and the other educators always say to me that he listens to me more than he does them but lately the strategies i have been using with him and alternating with him based on his moods (because alternating strategies for the past 6 months was the only thing that was working and i have done my best to maintain that) its just not working anymore.
basically the reason im writing this is to see if im missing something here or is this something that is deemed normal behaviour or has anyone come across this situation before etc.
if you need more information please ask.
thanks
PS : My preschool room has a lot of children with challenging behaviours which me and my colleagues are managing well but this child has me stumped and pulling my hair out.
Nothing seems to work anymore!!! what next??
Re: Nothing seems to work anymore!!! what next??
Interesting... At the beginning of this post you mention that this child is alright until other children arrive and it seems like he maybe having difficulty with his social interactions with his peers. For now, why don't you offer him experiences that he can do individually just so you can try and get his behaviour under control... So, when he comes in ask him what he would like to do and he can choose his own experience or get him to choose between 2 options. Even though you may have the room set up give him something else that he can do individually such as a puzzle or train set or Lego building (which can be preplanned as well). Since he is snatching, hitting etc. for the moment he needs to be removed from these situations. You are not isolating him as such you are giving him the option to spend some time alone while still under your care. If he wants to be involved then by all means enable him to do so but if he also wants some time out from the other children then that's OK. Even if there are only 2 staff in the room, he can sit in book corner or somewhere he can't be interrupted during his experience. You could ask him if he wants so and so to join in with him and see what he says. Just try this method and see if it works or it changes his behaviour at all.
Constantly engage with him and ask him what he wants to do throughout the day, pay attention to him (I know it's hard but you need to support him). Since his got great language skills then you can probably extend on it. Get audio books for him to listen to, or even involve him in rhyming or word games, talk to him about his interests, what he is doing, ask him to bring something from home that he can share and talk about with others etc.
After lunch instead of getting the children to read a book while you write reflections, why don't you go straight into yoga and after when children are sleeping/resting you can do your reflections then. If you have no other options then you probably need to change the activity. Instead of reading books, give each child a clipboard/or notebook and give them something to do like drawing or why don't you add "homework sheets" that they an complete or they can do a puzzle or colouring or make some quiet activity bags that the children can do while you write reflections. If you had to read the same books each day it can be a little repetitive and more chances of the children mucking about. so you need to keep them engaged.
If this child is having trouble interacting with others then you need to be with him, guiding his interactions throughout the day. I know its impossible to do every second but while outside you can get him involved in something he is interested in, or a group game or craft activity etc. Also on a side note all staff need to handle his behaviour positively throughout the day and consistently even if it is towards the end of the day.
Do you do group time? Do you have discussions on topics of interests? Do you have show and tell? Do you have sensory experiences available throughout the day such as play dough, clay, coloured rice etc.? Does he participate?
I just think if he is engaged and pre-occupied this child's behaviour will change...
Oh one more thing its so important that when dealing with this child that you are all constantly giving him positive feedback. "I like the way you waited for your turn", "I can see you're trying really hard to sit still", "Thanks for helping" etc. There is only so many times a child can hear "don't do this, don't do that, stop it"etc. that they wont even try changing their behaviour if it goes unnoticed...
These are the strategies I would use if I was in your situation and I hoped I helped you out a little,
,
L.A
Constantly engage with him and ask him what he wants to do throughout the day, pay attention to him (I know it's hard but you need to support him). Since his got great language skills then you can probably extend on it. Get audio books for him to listen to, or even involve him in rhyming or word games, talk to him about his interests, what he is doing, ask him to bring something from home that he can share and talk about with others etc.
After lunch instead of getting the children to read a book while you write reflections, why don't you go straight into yoga and after when children are sleeping/resting you can do your reflections then. If you have no other options then you probably need to change the activity. Instead of reading books, give each child a clipboard/or notebook and give them something to do like drawing or why don't you add "homework sheets" that they an complete or they can do a puzzle or colouring or make some quiet activity bags that the children can do while you write reflections. If you had to read the same books each day it can be a little repetitive and more chances of the children mucking about. so you need to keep them engaged.
If this child is having trouble interacting with others then you need to be with him, guiding his interactions throughout the day. I know its impossible to do every second but while outside you can get him involved in something he is interested in, or a group game or craft activity etc. Also on a side note all staff need to handle his behaviour positively throughout the day and consistently even if it is towards the end of the day.
Do you do group time? Do you have discussions on topics of interests? Do you have show and tell? Do you have sensory experiences available throughout the day such as play dough, clay, coloured rice etc.? Does he participate?
I just think if he is engaged and pre-occupied this child's behaviour will change...
Oh one more thing its so important that when dealing with this child that you are all constantly giving him positive feedback. "I like the way you waited for your turn", "I can see you're trying really hard to sit still", "Thanks for helping" etc. There is only so many times a child can hear "don't do this, don't do that, stop it"etc. that they wont even try changing their behaviour if it goes unnoticed...
These are the strategies I would use if I was in your situation and I hoped I helped you out a little,
,L.A
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Re: Nothing seems to work anymore!!! what next??
hi Lorina,
thanks for your reply. we have been implementing most if not all the things you have mentioned for this child. the individual experience is part of my strategy to redirect him and his behaviour when he gets overwhelmed in big group situations. that I have found to work and have been using this tactic for the last year or so which is good. also the positive feedback is given to him as much as we can. also we have been spending more time with him in group situations to help guide him in social situations and role model as best as we can. I have noticed this has helped a lot but we have been doing this for the whole year and then some and yet the behaviour still remains the same or with very very minimal change. the minimal change that we see, recedes the moment he is away from the centre until his return the following week, so we start the process again and again. the parents have had meetings with us and have agreed to strategies we have in place and have suggested to us to continue with what we are doing and they will incorporate it at home. Now the parents implemented very similar strategies at home seeing as they are educators themselves but in a primary setting so they have an understanding on the strategies we use. whether they have been consist is the question.
going to back to the rest time routine and interchanging the books we do this already ona fortnightly basis due to our centre having heaps of books donated often from parents and local schools so we are lucky in that sense. I have been as of late sitting with the children during this tiem for reading books and simply engaging in conversation with them etc and have noticed a slight change in his behaviour which is of the good but however his behaviour changes quickly if for example he has forgotten to share the books around and I tell him nicely that he needs to put the books he has read in the basket for the others, now his reaction to this is an egotistical one where he says that they are his books and he doesn't want the others to read them. I encourage him to place them in the basket because its not fair and so on and he stll resists. a this point I give him two options to place the books int he basket by the time I count to 5 or I will put them in the basket myself. this usually works and he places the books in the basket but it also triggers a tantrum and attention seeking behaviour which is very loud and disruptive. I ignore this and my colleague in the room does the same but other educators find it difficult to ignore as it wakes the babies up in the other room and they come in and give him attention which prolongs the behaviour further. so I feel like its a win-lose situation with me because he did comply to my instruction by time I counted to five but in retaliation he started attention seeking behaviour which gets fuelled by others, staff and children unfortunately.
when his behaviour is at the point were I noticed he just simply isn't calming down and it escalates tot he point where other children are getting upset or hurt by his actions I implement s strategy I adapted from karatane which is initially called time in. the idea behind it to have the child sit on me or with me and stay with me for 3 mins no talking or hurting anyone including himself. this usually works with him because I walk him through it everytime and explain to him why he needs to sit with me and how long it will take etc. once the 3 mins start I tell him how long he has until its time to go back to his friends. but if he starts to act up or hurt himself or get up I remind that I will start again with the 3 mins. this strategy sounds drastic but I have found it works to bring his focus back to the situation and makes him stop and think as well as calm down.
as for the activities he does participate is a majority of the activities without much prompting and we have a variety of experiences set up in the room e.g. sand table, playdough, literacy, numeracy and science inspired table, home corner, construction, art, etc. inside and outside he is always engaged in something. his behaviour though has gotten to the point where he's loosing his friends and I have said to him that ill be his friend and if no one wants to play with him that he needs to come to me and ill play with him. this has happened about three times and I have sat down with him and played with him and had discussions about why he thinks his friends don't want to play with him and he tells me it because he hits them and hurts them. I discuss this further with him and slowly invite other children into our conversations and integrate him back with his friends so he can play with them again.
I have gone to so many trainings which have given me insight and further understanding so I feel im doing ok considering I have several other children with challenging behaviours and they have changed over tiem with the strategies that have been implemented. don't get me wrong though its still a challenge everynow and then but me and my colleague int he room are pretty on par with maintaining consistency with our strategies and it has paid off but this one child has proven to really challenge us me more so because I have been with him the longest.
thanks for your reply. we have been implementing most if not all the things you have mentioned for this child. the individual experience is part of my strategy to redirect him and his behaviour when he gets overwhelmed in big group situations. that I have found to work and have been using this tactic for the last year or so which is good. also the positive feedback is given to him as much as we can. also we have been spending more time with him in group situations to help guide him in social situations and role model as best as we can. I have noticed this has helped a lot but we have been doing this for the whole year and then some and yet the behaviour still remains the same or with very very minimal change. the minimal change that we see, recedes the moment he is away from the centre until his return the following week, so we start the process again and again. the parents have had meetings with us and have agreed to strategies we have in place and have suggested to us to continue with what we are doing and they will incorporate it at home. Now the parents implemented very similar strategies at home seeing as they are educators themselves but in a primary setting so they have an understanding on the strategies we use. whether they have been consist is the question.
going to back to the rest time routine and interchanging the books we do this already ona fortnightly basis due to our centre having heaps of books donated often from parents and local schools so we are lucky in that sense. I have been as of late sitting with the children during this tiem for reading books and simply engaging in conversation with them etc and have noticed a slight change in his behaviour which is of the good but however his behaviour changes quickly if for example he has forgotten to share the books around and I tell him nicely that he needs to put the books he has read in the basket for the others, now his reaction to this is an egotistical one where he says that they are his books and he doesn't want the others to read them. I encourage him to place them in the basket because its not fair and so on and he stll resists. a this point I give him two options to place the books int he basket by the time I count to 5 or I will put them in the basket myself. this usually works and he places the books in the basket but it also triggers a tantrum and attention seeking behaviour which is very loud and disruptive. I ignore this and my colleague in the room does the same but other educators find it difficult to ignore as it wakes the babies up in the other room and they come in and give him attention which prolongs the behaviour further. so I feel like its a win-lose situation with me because he did comply to my instruction by time I counted to five but in retaliation he started attention seeking behaviour which gets fuelled by others, staff and children unfortunately.
when his behaviour is at the point were I noticed he just simply isn't calming down and it escalates tot he point where other children are getting upset or hurt by his actions I implement s strategy I adapted from karatane which is initially called time in. the idea behind it to have the child sit on me or with me and stay with me for 3 mins no talking or hurting anyone including himself. this usually works with him because I walk him through it everytime and explain to him why he needs to sit with me and how long it will take etc. once the 3 mins start I tell him how long he has until its time to go back to his friends. but if he starts to act up or hurt himself or get up I remind that I will start again with the 3 mins. this strategy sounds drastic but I have found it works to bring his focus back to the situation and makes him stop and think as well as calm down.
as for the activities he does participate is a majority of the activities without much prompting and we have a variety of experiences set up in the room e.g. sand table, playdough, literacy, numeracy and science inspired table, home corner, construction, art, etc. inside and outside he is always engaged in something. his behaviour though has gotten to the point where he's loosing his friends and I have said to him that ill be his friend and if no one wants to play with him that he needs to come to me and ill play with him. this has happened about three times and I have sat down with him and played with him and had discussions about why he thinks his friends don't want to play with him and he tells me it because he hits them and hurts them. I discuss this further with him and slowly invite other children into our conversations and integrate him back with his friends so he can play with them again.
I have gone to so many trainings which have given me insight and further understanding so I feel im doing ok considering I have several other children with challenging behaviours and they have changed over tiem with the strategies that have been implemented. don't get me wrong though its still a challenge everynow and then but me and my colleague int he room are pretty on par with maintaining consistency with our strategies and it has paid off but this one child has proven to really challenge us me more so because I have been with him the longest.
