Settling A Child During Drop Off

[lotd21]

We have had a new child start in our room recently, who has a very strong bond with his mother, she has returned to work three days a week and he is in care with us for those three days. We are having trouble settling him into the room we have talked to mum and try and using distraction by getting him to participate in activities that he enjoys it doesn't seem to be working, we are looking for new strategies, any suggestions would be appreciated.

[fchaudari76]

You need to have the mother set him up so he knows he is coming to a safe place and will have fun. Ask her to talk to him and reassure him and also make it clear she will come back. A lot of children's distress stems from not knowing things or the fear of being left there.
Ask mum to know when she will be back and to show him on a clock or some kind of visual.
When he is coming in and being handed over ask mum to rub his back as apparently this releases a lot of endorphins and is a very comforting thing to a child. (tip from Maggie Dent)
Read up about transitioning and techniques and strategies to use for that morning handover.
Staff will really need to bond with this child even if he bonds with one person that means that person can help him settle in & the trust can start being built and he can get comfortable there, getting him comfortable with other staff can be a slower ongoing process.

[lotd21]

thank you for your ideas unfortunately dad does the drop off and when he came in this morning i tried to encourage dad to sit down and play with him to settle him and dad's reply was he doesn't like playing with me, he does bond with us,sometimmes this works sometimes not but again thank you, I will start to implement this into his morning routine.

[cathiek]

We sometimes have a child who keep something of mums in his/her bag that they can visit/snuggle up to if need be. Also I would recommend a book called the kissing hand. If mum follows what happens in this story it might help. I still have kids who kiss their mums hand and close their fist to 'save' it and the mums kiss the kids hands and do the same. Might help your situation too.

[Lorina]

This is typical behavior for a child who hasn't been in care before... It's hard to deal with for the parent, the child and the staff but it does get better as weeks progress. A child could take a couple of weeks to settle or even months. I know it's hard to manage at times and it does break your heart. I remember a new toddler started in my room and he use to stand at the gate screaming for his mum... It's upsetting but you have to be strong to reassure both child and mother.

Firstly you will need to come up with a morning routine with the parent and the child. Even though you may think it's a good idea for the parent to stay with the child It actually makes matters worse and builds up anxiety for the child knowing that his going to be left alone. So, the drop off has to be quick in and out. Also if possible make sure that the same carer on the days that the child comes in is available to support him during the drop off. At this stage there is no use having a different carer dealing with the child each time. There should be one who is consistent either the room leader or assistant.

Next, when dad comes in, helps child put bag away, hands child over to carer, kisses child bye, if possible carer can go to the window or door with child to wave bye bye, take child over to settle with a book. You can ask his parents to bring a book from home or find out what books he enjoys reading. Once he seems to be settled then you can start getting him to do activities etc. if the child is soo upset the last thing he would want to be doing is an activity, so give him some time to settle down. If you find that he is still not settling after a period of time try taking him outside. Sometimes the fresh air could do some good.

Well, this is how I settle my young ones who have just started care. Be consistent with the routine and within a couple of weeks it gets easier.

Let me know how it goes,

,
L.A

[ashleywells2417]

fchaudari76 is right, read up about transitioning and techniques and strategies to use for that morning handover.

[amelia08]

It’s healthier for children to talk about their feelings—they don’t benefit from “not thinking about it.” Be empathetic, but also remind the child—gently—that he or she survived the last separation.

[Cor26]

I agree with Lorina. Quick in and out drop offs work best. Parents who linger really make it harder for the child and the staff. It does take a while for some children to settle in and the one educator during that process really works best as it becomes a routine, which is reassuring for the child as well.