How to deal with a Toxic Parent as an Educator

[Ikay]

For the past few months, I’ve been dealing with this parent (Dad) that always got something to say and complain even if we staffs always do our best.

Things such as ‘oh why is my son crying’ ‘he’s obviously not happy etc.’ even though his son really had a good day throughout the day but because its pick up time parent’s come in and out, his son started crying.

That just one out of the 1000 complains he had w the centre and staff.

I was thinking that if he’s not happy why is he not pulling his child out of the centre? Instead he was requesting for 5 days. (son currently attends 4 days)

Yesterday in the centre, I cried for the first time.
It was 5:00 pm and I gave the handover to dad and said that his son had a good day. Then later he asked the staff where is his child ‘rif raf’ so we went to look everywhere in the room but its nowhere to be found’ He was already holding his child however, his child really wanted to go home and started crying’.
This time dad started getting uneasy and annoyed.
He said that ‘he needs to have it otherwise he’ll get cranky as he can’t sleep without it’. I asked if its alright if I could call the room leader that was in early shift if she had seen the rif raf. RL said that a parent that has a son with the same rif raf accidentally pick up the wrong rif raf as the other rif raf was still in the centre. I immediately explained what happened and said that I’ll give the other parent a call to see if they have it, and is there any chance they could drop it in the centre. The angry dad was getting impatient and asked if he can have the phone and he’ll talk to the parent. I said I can’t do that. He looked more pissed. His child was getting cranky and cranky that time and I heard the dad said ‘sorry bud, they lost your ****’ repeatedly . I called the dad that pick up the wrong rif raf however he can’t remember if he has it as he was still in work and said ‘he came home without it’.I talked to dad and said they don’t have it. We continued looking. The angry dad said ‘(educator’s name - you have to call everyone that came today) you can clearly see how angry he is after that he went to tell the supervisor about what happened. The supervisor advised to call the other parent again just to double check. I called the dad again and asked he said he was still at work so he can’t check and suggest to call the mom. It turns out that they got the wrong rif raf. Mom was okay to drop it in the centre. Angry dad and his child went home already however his wife is on the way to get the rif raf.

I felt really bad for both parents and the supervisor for the inconveniences. Its making me rethink if this job is still for me.

I’ve been working in the 0-2 room for a year now, everyday was getting so stressful as we only have 2 permanent staff (me and the room leader) then casuals for a room full of 16-20 babies.

We doing our best but a parent like him making our work even more stressful. I understand where he was coming from we’re not perfect but he could’ve had handled it in a more calm and nicer way.

Its giving me anxiety knowing that I still have to deal with/see him almost everyday.

[Lorina]

Unfortunately in this industry, we have to deal with certain parents and you just can't take it personally or "to heart". By the end of the day, most children have had enough and want to go home, parents have had a long day and just want to go home and for some parents, they take their frustrations out on us.

Do you provide photos for parents to view of their child's day? Maybe you can set up a slideshow for parents to view of their children when they are coming for pick up. Somehow show this particular parent that their child is settled and happy throughout the day.

The whole issue with the "riff raff" was a complete mix-up and misunderstanding. It was no one's fault in particular because 2 children have the same toy there may be times that children will take the wrong one home. Can you maybe write the child's name on the tag. Maybe put it in a ziplock back with the child's name on it so this issue doesn't happen again. You need to come up with an idea so this mix up doesn't occur again and let both parents know how you plan to solve this mix-up.

I completely understand how stressful it is... try not to worry too much about what you can't control. You cant control how parents react you just do the best you can and care for the children as best you can and that's the best you can do. At the end of the day as soon as you walk out the door and go home leave all the troubles there, don't take any problems home... go home relax... clear your head...

It seems like you are doing an amazing job! And the steps you took to find the riff raff were correct. You did the right thing!

,
Lorina