Child (12 months) not settling in after 2,5 months

[molpost]

Hi,

I was wondering if other educators experience the same as we are at the moment in our babies room.
About 11 weeks ago we had a new baby attending childcare for three days a week, he is 1 year old. This little boy seemed very upset/angry when settling in the first couple of weeks. Educators assumed this is while he is settling in. However, it is still happening 11 weeks later, the boy wants you to be close or hold him, if you put him on the floor or move away from him while he is in the highchair/ playing on the floor he gets so angry, he throws himself on the floor and screams really really loudly! When its lunch time and you are trying to feed him he gets really upset if you move a little or get a second bowl of food for him. It is so bad that it is affecting the other children and staff are getting tired and hard to stay positive which you want to be for him too! He does have some good moments during the day but not that often.

I'm just wondering about similar experiences, solutions, suggestions?

Cheers!

[Lorina]

Even though it has been 11 weeks already it could take longer for him to settle as it differs for each individual child... I had a toddler take over 4 months to stop crying each time they come to care but they get used to it... It's so sad to see and it rips your heart out, it happens, it's heart breaking and you just have to try and be supportive...

Also, with him getting angry when you move away from him do you pick him up straight away or do you give him a couple of minutes to see if he settles? Try and let him be for a couple of minutes before picking him up again. Engage him in play by giving him something to hold onto or play with - a musical toy or something that moves or makes sounds. Rather than pick him up, sit close to him and play with him once he seems to settle move slightly away but not too far though and see what happens...

It may be a behaviour he has been doing at home as well when he screams he gets picked up and cuddled so you need to try and get him to understand that he can't be picked up for each and every scream... Soothe him, reassure him, sing sngs to him but try not to pick him up until it's necessary...

What does he enjoy playing with, does he like water play or playdough, listening to soothing music?

Speak to his parents and ask if he does it at home as well...

I understand it's frustrating but you just have to keep at it...

It will stop eventually...

,
Lorina

[molpost]

Thank you Lorina!

We try not to pick him up, and as you said, slowly move away from him and engaging him in activities, sometimes it seems to work, sometimes he just gets more and more upset.

It is hard when it is drop off and pick up time as parents are disturbed by his crying so usually around those times I will pick him up and try and comfort as it is not fair to the other parents and children.

I'm a casual in the room so I don't have much to do with the parents but my colleagues have spoken to them regularly, and at the moment we are keeping a diary to see what triggers it and what strategies help.

Yeh we will just have to be patience. What would you do if your colleagues put him in his cot in the cotroom when he cries/gets angry? I find this really hard... so usually I go in and take him out or ask my RL first... I don't really believe in the 'letting cry' strategy?

[Lorina]

How it going with the little one?

It's great that you're keeping a diary, so you can find out the triggers but it may just be that he is still not comfortable with environment. Are there the same educators in the room or are they constantly changing? In regards to him crying when he is put in the cot room I would probably sit with him until he settles or gently pat him to sleep. How does he go to sleep once you take him out? Does he sleep in a cot at home?

,
Lorina

[molpost]

Hi Lorina,

The family decided to take the child to a family day care setting. I do believe this will be much better for him as he probably got really overwhelmed with all the children around him. I noticed when there were just a few around he was ok.

[Lorina]

It happens sometimes... The overall environment may not be the right setting for a particular child. It's not the fault of the educators or the child or the parents... I hope family day care provides him with the support he needs!

You and your team did a great job putting in the effort trying to make him more comfortable within your setting!

,
Lorina