Aussie Childcare Network Forum

Posted: **Sun May 26, 2024 9:45 am**

Hi - i need some help with 6 year old boy behaviour. I will list below:

- intelligent, academically at least 1 year ahead of peers
- understands concepts very well
- seems to play well with kids a year younger than he is
- we think he has some social issues that do no allow him to easily integrate into groups, but he has done well so far at making friends (read further down new issues)
- he gets overexcited around some kids but not others - he will run around, sometimes screaming and no amount of trying to calm him will stop him - this is a common thing
- he kicked me in a social situation yesterday with a girl from his school and later told me he kicked me because he was feeling shy and couldn't think past that moment
- he is a very calm child and mostly has very good self control
- he is scaring his friends with martial arts types moves and they don't want to play with him anymore but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- he is playing with sticks at school and accidentally hurting other kids, but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- it was explained to me last week that he is saying this like i'm going to stab you in the face, neck etc - note that he has no access to youtube, devices or TV shows that air this type of stuff, so I can only guess that it is coming from the playground
- he has a swearing vocab now, doesn't say it at home but goes at school

I feel like the school environment has had a majorly negative impact on him and I'm not sure how to handle his behaviour - does anyone have any tips?

thank you

Posted: **Tue Jan 07, 2025 2:22 pm**

It sounds like you're dealing with a complex and challenging situation. Here are some strategies and tips that might help address the various behaviors you're seeing:

1. Understanding the Root Causes:

Overexcitement and Social Integration:

Structured Social Situations: Create structured playdates with clear rules and boundaries.

Social Skills Training: Engage him in social skills training, such as role-playing scenarios and practicing appropriate social interactions.

2. Managing Aggression and Physical Behavior:

Clear Consequences:

Establish clear and consistent consequences for aggressive behaviors like kicking or using martial arts moves inappropriately.

Use a calm and firm approach to explain why such behaviors are unacceptable.

Positive Reinforcement:

Encourage and reward positive behavior. Praise him when he plays nicely with others and follows rules.

3. Addressing Inappropriate Language and Threats:

Model Appropriate Language:

Consistently model appropriate language and explain why certain words or threats are not acceptable.

Use stories or role-playing to illustrate the impact of words on others.

4. Handling External Influences:

Peer Influence:

Talk to the school about the behaviors you're seeing and collaborate on strategies to address negative influences.

Monitor his interactions and provide guidance on choosing friends who exhibit positive behavior.

5. Emotional Regulation:

Teach Coping Skills:

Help him develop coping skills for managing emotions like shyness or frustration.

Techniques such as deep breathing, counting to ten, or using a "calm down" corner can be helpful.

6. Engaging with the School:

Collaborate with Educators:

Work closely with his teachers and school counselors to create a consistent approach to managing behavior both at home and school.

Request regular updates and share strategies that work at home.

7. Professional Support:

Seek Professional Help:

If the behaviors persist or escalate, consider seeking the support of a child psychologist or behavioral therapist. They can provide tailored strategies and support.

8. Consistency and Patience:

Be Consistent:

Consistency in rules, expectations, and consequences is crucial. Ensure all caregivers are on the same page.

Be patient and give him time to adjust to new strategies and expectations.

Addressing these behaviors will take time and effort, but with consistent strategies and support, you can help him develop better social skills and emotional regulation.

,
Lorina

Posted: **Wed Jan 08, 2025 5:57 pm**

It is possible that your child is hyperactive, you should try taking him to see a psychiatrist or talk to a psychologist.

Posted: **Mon Jun 16, 2025 1:30 pm**

Consistency and a clear explanation without emotional escalation are key to kids understanding boundaries.
cookie clicker

Posted: **Thu Jul 17, 2025 7:06 pm**

How has your child's behavior changed in six months?

Posted: **Fri Aug 08, 2025 4:59 pm**

marymarymary wrote: ↑
Sun May 26, 2024 9:45 am
Hi - i need some help with 6 year old boy behaviour. I will list below:

- intelligent, academically at least 1 year ahead of peers
- understands concepts very well
- seems to play well with kids a year younger than he is
- we think he has some social issues that do no allow him to easily integrate into groups, but he has done well so far at making friends (read further down new issues)
- he gets overexcited around some kids but not others - he will run around, sometimes screaming and no amount of trying to calm him will stop him - this is a common thing
- he kicked me in a social situation yesterday with a girl from his school and later told me he kicked me because he was feeling shy and couldn't think past that moment
- he is a very calm child and mostly has very good self control
- he is scaring his friends with martial arts types moves and they don't want to play 8 ball billiards with him anymore but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- he is playing with sticks at school and accidentally hurting other kids, but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- it was explained to me last week that he is saying this like i'm going to stab you in the face, neck etc - note that he has no access to youtube, devices or TV shows that air this type of stuff, so I can only guess that it is coming from the playground
- he has a swearing vocab now, doesn't say it at home but goes at school

I feel like the school environment has had a majorly negative impact on him and I'm not sure how to handle his behaviour - does anyone have any tips?

thank you

Have you had him assessed for things like ASD Level 1 or ADHD (even inattentive type)?

Posted: **Tue Aug 12, 2025 11:28 am**

marymarymary wrote: ↑
Sun May 26, 2024 9:45 am
Hi - i need some help with 6 year old boy behaviour. I will list below:

- intelligent, academically at least 1 year ahead of peers
- understands concepts very well
- seems to play well with kids a year younger than he is
- we think he has some social issues that do no allow him to easily integrate into groups, but he has done well so far at making friends (read further down new issues)
- he gets overexcited around some kids but not others - he will run around, sometimes screaming and no amount of trying to calm him will stop him - this is a common thing
- he kicked me in a social situation yesterday with a girl from his school and later told me he kicked me because he was feeling shy and couldn't think past that moment
- he is a very calm child and mostly has very good self control
- he is scaring his friends with martial arts types moves and they don't want to play with him anymore but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- he is playing with sticks at school and accidentally hurting other kids, but no amount of explaining how wrong it is and how it makes others feel seems to stop him doing it
- it was explained to me last week that he is saying this like i'm going to stab you in the face, neck etc - note that he has no access to youtube, devices or TV shows that air this type of stuff, so I can only guess that it is coming from the playground
- he has a swearing vocab now, doesn't say it at home but goes at school

I feel like the school environment has had a majorly negative impact on him and I'm not sure how to handle his behaviour - does anyone have any tips?

thank you

It sounds like your son is bright but struggling to manage impulses and social boundaries, especially in stimulating environments. Consistent, calm consequences, clear role-playing of “what to do instead,” and regular check-ins with his teacher can help. You might also consider social skills groups or a child psychologist to give him tools for self-regulation.

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