Aussie Childcare Network Forum

Posted: **Sat Oct 24, 2015 5:16 pm**

Hi,
Just looking for some advice and opinions in regards to a situation that I am in at the moment. One of the children (recently turned 4) at the centre that I work in has an attachment towards me. I didn't think it was anything abnormal, he runs up to me when I start work to say hello then continues to play with his friends. Doesn't react negatively if I leave the room and is just as excited as any other child when mum or dad comes in the afternoon to pick him up. He doesn't follow me around throughout the day.
However when he gets hurt/starts crying for some reason he will come and try to find me and call out my name (I will say if another educator reaches him first he is happy for them to look after him).
When something does happen I will look after him, give him some cuddles and then within 5 minutes he is happy and off playing again.
Yesterday however he was having an extremely emotional day, where any little thing would set him off and would just want me. In the afternoon the director of my centre came out and saw him crying for me as he had just fallen over.
However I was busy changing a nappy and couldn't go over to him.
The director talked to him and took awhile to calm him down then made some snide remarks in my direction (in front of another parent) and said;
You really need to stop him doing this, it is unhealthy and told me not to go near him for the rest of the afternoon.

This same director also makes snarky remarks whenever I go to soothe a child who is upset/injured saying things like i'm too soft on them, they will be fine just leave them be...

Does the child seem too attached to me and am I doing the wrong thing when I tend to an upset child or is it my just my director and the contrasting views that we have in regards to educating and caring for children??
TIA

Posted: **Sun Oct 25, 2015 4:42 am**

Hi Tia, that is a very tricky situation you are in considering it is your director making such remarks. I would suggest that you read your relationships with children policy and Quality area 5 and use that as a back for the next time such remarks are made.

Posted: **Sun Oct 25, 2015 1:09 pm**

Why is the director making remarks like this? How unprofessional! Is it hard to find a centre that has actually good staff and management to work with! It just drives me crazy that people are acting this why towards another and it seems like the childcare industry is getting worse!

Anyways, as a toddler room leader I had close relationships with a few of my toddlers (mainly 4) who would do the same thing. It would probably worsen during drop off when they would only want me to be with them until they settle. It usually happens to "newbies". I had one child in particular who would only want me. He would follow me, want me to hold him, want me to play with him, put him to sleep etc. Since he was new, I would allow it as he got use to the setting and the children and staff as it was his first time in care and as the months went on I started helping him develop his social skills by getting him involved in activities with others, getting support staff to interact with him as well. It took about 2 months but he really blossomed and his social development soared! Of course we still made time for each other but he wasn't clingy to me... During that time my director never ever made such remarks... I would keep her updated on what was happening in the room and what I was doing to support particular children. She was very happy to see me be so caring and supportive. She knew I was able to form special bonds with newbies and I was always giving support by her and other staff to assist children in settling for the first couple of weeks.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that it is normal for children to form attachments to particular educators. Sometimes other educators may get a little "jealous" as a child may say "no, I want (Jane) instead, can you get her". Some educators take it personally rather than in a professional matter and that's when the remarks and comments start. In your case, it's the director doing it so who are you supposed to turn to for help? You are doing nothing wrong! So please don't think you should stop your caring nature towards the children, you and the director have different views but even though she shouldn't be discouraging you. You may need to have a word with the director if it gets too much and let her know how her comments are making you feel...

Sounds like you're being worthy educator to me!

,
Lorina

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