At first glance, the idea of asking a baby for consent before a nappy change might sound absurd. After all, babies can’t speak, reason, or give informed permission. But beneath the surface, this question invites us to reflect on something deeper: How do we model respect, autonomy, and emotional safety from the very beginning of life?
Consent Is a Culture, Not a Checklist
Asking for consent in infant care isn’t about expecting a verbal “yes.” It’s about cultivating a culture where every child—regardless of age—is treated as a person with rights, preferences, and dignity.
When we narrate our actions (“I’m going to change your nappy now”), pause for a moment, and observe the child’s cues, we’re not just performing a task. We’re modeling relational respect. We’re saying: Your body matters. Your feelings matter. You are not passive in your own care.
Safeguarding Starts in the Smallest Moments
In a sector where safeguarding is paramount, these micro-interactions matter. They teach children that:
- Adults should explain what they’re doing.
- Their discomfort is valid and worth expressing.
- Their bodies are not subject to silent handling.
This foundation becomes critical as children grow. It helps them recognize unsafe touch, assert boundaries, and seek help when needed.
Practical, Not Performative
Critics argue that asking babies for consent is impractical. But this isn’t about performative politeness; it’s about intentional practice. Consider these examples:
Nappy Change
- “I’m going to check your nappy now. Is that okay?” (Pause and smile, watch for cues.)
- “You’re letting me know you’re not ready yet. That’s okay—we’ll wait a moment.”
- “Would you like to hold your toy while I change your nappy?”
- “I’m going to check your nappy now. Is that okay?” (Pause and observe.)
- “Would you like to hold your toy while I change you?”
- “You’re turning away. Let’s wait a moment and try again.”
Face Wiping
- “Your face is sticky from lunch. I’m going to wipe it gently now.”
- “Would you like to use the cloth yourself first?”
- “I see you’re turning away. Let’s try again in a minute.”
Shoe Help
- “I’m going to help you with your shoes. You can choose which one we do first.”
- “Would you like to sit on the mat or my lap while we do this? ”
Water Play Cleanup
- “Water play is finished now. I’m going to help you dry off.”
- “You can choose the towel—blue or green?”
Comforting Touch
- “I see you’re upset. Would you like a cuddle or to sit beside me?”
- “I’m here if you want a hug. You can let me know.”
These aren’t scripts; they’re relational tools. They affirm the child’s agency, even in non-verbal ways.
What Educators Can Do
- Narrate care routines with warmth and clarity.
- Offer simple choices during transitions.
- Use correct anatomical terms to normalize healthy body talk.
- Document moments of agency and emotional expression.
- Reflect on how your touch-based care models respect.
Asking babies for consent isn’t about expecting answers it’s about offering respect. It’s about building a world where every child learns, from day one, that their body is their own.
Further Reading
Teaching Consent to Toddlers and Preschoolers
Lulu Says Yes, Lulu Says No
Simple Songs About Consent For Children
My Consent Pledge
Teaching Personal Space in Preschool: Resources and Strategies